"People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stor…"

"What you forget when you're planning a hijack by yourself is somewhere along the line, you might need to neglect your…"

"Someone bent on suicide won't have much sense of humor left."

"This is fish number six hundred and forty-one in a lifetime of a goldfish. My parents bought me the first one to teac…"

"People used what they called a telephone because they hated being close together and they were too scared of being al…"

"Whether you clean a stain, a fish, a house, you want to think you're making the world a better place, but really you'…"

"Today is just one of those days the sun comes out to really humiliate you."

"I just want some proof that death isn't the end. Even if crazed zombies grabbed me in some dark hall one night, even …"

"Only God has the right to surprise his children with death."

"Just for the record, after my first three-month cycle of Deca-Durabolin I couldn't reach down far enough to tie my sh…"