"I had teeth that stuck out so far, I used to eat other kids' candy bars by accident."

"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want…"

"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."

"[One of my friends] was in labor for 36 hours. (I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.)"

"Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary; the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches lon…"

"I don't even know how this word came into being: "aerobics". I guess gym instructors got together and said, "If we're…"

"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin ou…"

"Whenever I date a guy, I think, "Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?""

"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be."

"I love being married, I do. It's so great to find that one special person that you want to annoy for the rest of your…"