"I wish I owned half of that dog." "Why?" somebody asked. "Because I would kill my half." The group searched his face …"

"Adam was but human — this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because …"

"Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first …"

"Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was, that they escaped teething."

"There is this trouble about special providences-namely, there is so often a doubt as to which party was intended to b…"

"Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."

"Remark of Dr. Baldwin's, concerning upstarts: We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles."

"Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry."

"Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs one step at a time."

"Tell the truth or trump — but get the trick."