"A boy's best friend is his mother."

"Hate the smell of dampness, don't you? It's such a, I don't know, creepy smell."

"A hobby should pass the time, not fill it."

"I don't set a fancy table, but my kitchen's awful homey."

"She might have fooled me, but she didn't fool my mother."

"I'm not a fool. I'm not capable of being fooled! Not even by a woman."

"I think I must have one of those faces you can't help believing."

"Oh, we have twelve vacancies. Twelve cabins, twelve vacancies. They, uh, they moved away the highway."

"[to Sam] You make respectability sound so disrespectful."

"Headaches are like resolutions. You forget them as soon as they stop hurting."