"I've had hangovers before, but this time, even my hair hurts."

"Can you believe that? They sent a woman. That's like sending a marshmallow to put out a bonfire."

"Mr. Allen, this may come as a surprise to you, but there are some men who don't end every sentence with a proposition."

"At least my problems can be solved in one bedroom. You couldn't solve yours in a thousand!"

"Wonder how it would be to have someone to pillow talk with me?"

"If you'll excuse me, I better go to the powder moon. I mean room. Fix my lipstick."

"Why did I spend a fortune having this apartment done over? Why did I cut myself off from every girl I know? Why does …"

"If there's anything worse than a woman living alone, it's a woman saying she likes it."

"It's what goes on when the lights go off!"

"Footloose bachelor...beautiful career girl...and the world's most fascinating pastime!"