"You sit around and you go, “Oh, I hope people like me, and I hope they friend me, and I hope they do all this superfi…"

"Joining a Facebook group about creative productivity is like buying a chair about jogging."

""Friend us on Facebook!" is a social media strategy like "Buy me a malt liquor!" is a charitable giving plan."

"Write your way out of a thinking block—because you'll never think your way out of a writing block."

"Being consistent is WAY less interesting than being yourself. And if you're not interesting? Good luck with your Big …"

"Typing in all lowercase is popular among young people, SMS users, and anyone who feels literacy has become too time-c…"

"If you need to appear on an internet list to know whether you're someone's friend, you may have problems a computer c…"

"When you die, no one's going to remember what iPhone you had."

"If you don't want a little moisture on the mattress, maybe you shouldn't have gone to the bar."

"If you want to make a chili, you're going to break some cows."