"I think the reason why we're so disconnected and depressing is that...we don't talk to God anymore - or rather, he do…"

"We certainly showed those Afghanis for what those Saudis did. But hey, can’t dump where you eat, you know?"

"The FBI and the CIA, I really thought they had everything under control. I thought they knew what was going on with e…"

"He [George W. Bush] was speaking in congress and he was saying "Why do they hate us? Because of what’s going on right…"

"Do you think Beethoven had any inkling in even the darkest recesses of his unconscious, when he was deaf and sweating…"

"Pearl Harbor the movie, arguably, was worse than the invasion itself."

"I think, in most cases, the difference between depression and disappointment is your level of commitment."

"Where is all the porn coming from?! Why isn't the Christian right talking about porn?! Cause they want us to be jerki…"

"In the digital age our idea of political activism is forwarding an e-mail. You copy four people and think, "I've done…"

"Do you remember when you used to be able to remember five phone numbers?"