"Oooooh! Nice briefcase!"

"I didn't know I could be this happy without incurring credit card debt!"

"Paulette, I taught Bruiser to shop online, I think I can handle congress."

"I have always respected redheads as members of a hair color minority."

"So speak up, America. Speak up for the home of the brave. Speak up for the land of the free gift with purchase. Speak…"

"Who's ready to discharge?! Or petition a bill...or whatever!"

"Oh My God! You look like the Fourth of July! It makes me want a hot dog real bad!"

"Or something really classy-like white leather! I'll call the guy who did my car seats!"

"Her Beagle's name is Dolly Madison, which was my grandma's stripper name!"

"This is just like CSpan, except I'm not bored."