"My idea as far as comedy goes has always been to push the limits of what's acceptable for a woman to do or say or be.…"

"Oh please...As a standup, I tried to change the world. As an entertainer, I try to entertain. And as a lesbian, I try…"

"Never point at anything beige and call it cool."

"Learn all the rules... then break them."

"He looked me right in the face and said, "You fucking bulldyke!" And I thought to myself, "Oooh, what a smart man! Wh…"

"Did you read [Holly Near's book]? Let me save you the trouble. This is the most exciting sentence in the book: ..."I …"

"They are preserving the sanctity of marriage, so that two gay men who've been together for twenty-five years can't ge…"

"I'm at West Virginia University to do a show, right, and they've done all this fucking publicity about it...so when I…"

"[An anti-abortion conference goer] says, "Well, don't you believe that life begins at inception?" I say, "No. I belie…"

"You know the people I'm talking about, you see them at every pride rally, they get up on stage and go, "We're just li…"