"I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure."

"Lulubelle, it's you! I didn't recognize you standing up."

"Time wounds all heels."

"There's something corrupt going on around my pants but I just can't seem to locate it."

"I give you my solemn word as an embezzler, I'll be back in ten minutes."

"You must fan the flames of love with the bellows of indifference."

"I'm not in business for love, you know. I was in love once and I got the business."

"I'm not drunk, but, what's the ceiling doing on the floor?"

"Rusty, I no like-a the West. All-a the people do is kill each other. I like-a the West better if it was in the East. …"

"Any resemblance between these two characters and living persons is purely accidental!"