"[to Greg] This "Mom Bucks" thing is a gold mine muchacho. Better not ruin it for me."

"[to Greg as he threatens to call mom] REMINDER! You can't call if you're dead."

"[bitterly to Greg] You're my brother. But you'll never be my friend."

"[running with Greg's diary] "I can't believe my luck! I finally have Holly all to myself without Chirag, or anyone el…"

"Oh, honey, hi! Remember when we were young like this? And we used to dance and go to parties and stuff like that?"

"What did I say about being civil to one another?! That's all I asked of you! [as time passes] Well, you have blown it…"

"Rodrick, I've lived in this house for 10 years. I've locked that door 10,000 times because sometimes it's my only mom…"

"[enters Greg's room; sternly to Greg] Greg. Two words: Bathroom… door."

"Zachary Gordon - Greg Heffley"

"Devon Bostick - Rodrick Heffley"