"What makes earth feel like Hell is our expectation that it should feel like Heaven."

"If you can watch much television, then being dead will a cinch. Actually, watching television and surfing the Interne…"

"The first time we meet another person an insidious little voice in our head says, 'I might wear eyeglasses or be chun…"

""A woman eats to feed her pussy." Meaning: Anything we do to excess is in compensation for not getting a minimum amou…"

"It simply makes sense that I should miss my parents more than they miss me, especially when you consider that they on…"

"Old habits die hard."

"In Hell you'd be foolish to count on people displaying high standards of honesty. The same goes for earth."

"Yes, and I know that when a super-sexy older girl with hips and breasts and nice hair wants to take off your glasses …"

"[I]f you ask me, most people have children just as their own enthusiasm about life begins to wane. A child allows us …"

"If the living are haunted by the dead, then the dead are haunted by their own mistakes.""