"[singing] Mexican Americans / love education / so they go to night school / and take Spanish / and get a B."

"[to a girl on the phone] You wanna come over to my place? Okay, I'll be here with balls on."

"Somebody ripped off the thing I ripped off!"

"Holy sheep shit! It's guitar heaven!"

"Man, if you had a second brain, it would die of loneliness, man."

"[waiting on date to arrive] Man, hurry up, bitch. I got lots of shit to do. Shit. If that bitch doesn't hurry up and …"

"Shit, man. I'm gonna be late for work again. That's the fifth time this week, and it's only Tuesday, man."

"Hey, that's a pretty nice car, man. Better get it back to the circus before they find out it's gone."

"Cheech Marin as Cheech and Dwayne "Red" Mendoza"

"Responsibility is a heavy responsibility!"