"I am a very bad scientist. I will do anything to make a human being feel better, even if it's unscientific."

"“Maturity,” Bokonon tells us, “is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to …"

"Nothing in this book is true. "Live by the foma* that make you brave and kind and healthy and happy." — The Books of …"

"We Bokononists believe that humanity is organized into teams, teams that do God's Will without ever discovering what …"

"All of the true things that I am about to tell you are shameless lies."

"Anyone unable to understand how a useful religion can be founded on lies will not understand this book either. So be it."

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I stand before you now because I never stopped dawdling like an eight-year-old on a spring morn…"

"[It] was about the end of the world in the year 2000 ... It told how mad scientists made a terrific bomb that wiped o…"

"There are lots of good anecdotes about the bomb and Father ... For instance, do you know the story about Father on th…"

"I agree with one Bokononist idea. I agree that all religions, including Bokononism, are nothing but lies."