"It has become an ongoing national joke."

"Before 1999, Tracey Emin and Sarah Lucas offered to get me exhibitions, but joining the Stuckists put a kaibosh on al…"

"I like being on the margins. You work better there."

"I am angry with him but I have compassion for him. The reason I can have a relationship with him is that I don’t see …"

"I loved moustaches. I used to draw myself with one. When I was 14, I was really into war and Van Gogh."

"When I was better known than her, she put my name in that tent. I was asked to do Celebrity Big Brother, but why shou…"

"What, like Harpic?"

"Bowie and McCartney arrived, and the biscuits and caviare started and I left immediately. I don’t like shouting acros…"

"Your paintings are stuck, you are stuck! Stuck! Stuck! Stuck!"

"a seething, dyslexic, better-looking British Bukowski"