"Just listen to the ol' "Porkchop Express" and take his advice on a dark and stormy night, alright? When some wild-eye…"

"I'm not saying I've been everywhere, and I've done everything. But I do know this is a pretty amazing planet we live …"

"Which Lo Pan? Little ol’ basketcase on wheels, or the ten-foot-tall roadblock?!"

"Would you stop rubbing your body up against mine? Because I can’t concentrate when you do that..."

"What does that mean? huh? ‘China is here?’ I don’t even know what the hell that means! All I know is this Lo Pan char…"

"Look, I'm going to tell you about an accident and I don't wanna hear "act of God," okay?"

"Sit tight, hold the fort, keep the home fires burning. And if we're not back by dawn...call the president."

"Everybody relax, I'm here."

"Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earthquakes and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars…"

"Like I told my last wife, I says, "Honey, I never drive faster than I can see." Besides that, it's all in the reflexes."