"Just listen to the ol' "Porkchop Express" and take his advice on a dark and stormy night, alright? When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, looks you crooked in the eye, and asks you if you paid your dues; you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have you paid your dues, Jack?" "Yes, sir, the check is in the mail.""

"I'm not saying I've been everywhere, and I've done everything. But I do know this is a pretty amazing planet we live on here. And a man would have to be some kind of fool to think we're all alone in this universe."

"Which Lo Pan? Little ol’ basketcase on wheels, or the ten-foot-tall roadblock?!"

"Would you stop rubbing your body up against mine? Because I can’t concentrate when you do that..."

"What does that mean? huh? ‘China is here?’ I don’t even know what the hell that means! All I know is this Lo Pan character comes out of thin air in the middle of a goddamned alley, while his buddies are flying around on wires, cutting everybody to shreds...and he just stands there, waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him?! With LIGHT coming out of his mouth?!"

"Look, I'm going to tell you about an accident and I don't wanna hear "act of God," okay?"

"Sit tight, hold the fort, keep the home fires burning. And if we're not back by dawn...call the president."

"Everybody relax, I'm here."

"Ol' Jack always says...what the hell?"

"Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earthquakes and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big ol' storm right in the eye and says "Give me your best shot. I can take it.""

"Mr. Burton, if you have an influence over your youthful friend, you'd better exert it now! Otherwise, I will have both of you rowed off to the hell where people are skinned alive! It's that simple, understand?!"

"This place is my tomb. I'm buried here. A young man, a king, a warrior, is entombed in this old man's crippled body. And all I need is a woman, Mr. Burton — a special kind of woman with dragon-green eyes — to make me whole and young again, so that I may rule the universe from beyond this grave!"

"There are always others, are there not? You seem to be one who knows the difficulties between men and women, how seldom it works out. And yet we all keep trying, like fools!"

"Who are these people? Friends of yours, huh?! Now this really pisses me off to no end!"

"Oh, Miao Yin. I need you Miao Yin — you whose eyes flash like emerald lightning. Ching Dai! Make me flesh again soon."

"Some people pick the darnedest places to start a fight!"

"Adventure doesn't come any bigger!"

"Try to find big reason before you visit world of magic..."

"Jack Burton's in for some serious trouble, and you're in for some serious fun."

"A Mystical, Action, Adventure, Comedy, Kung Fu, Monster, Ghost Story!"

"[from trailer] They told him to go to Hell - and that's just where he's going!"

"[from trailer] Jack Burton's coming to rescue your summer!"

"Kurt Russell - Jack Burton"

"Kim Cattrall - Gracie Law"

"Dennis Dun - Wang Chi"

"Suzee Pai - Miao Yin"

"James Hong - David Lo Pan"

"Victor Wong - Egg Shen"

"Kate Burton - Margo"

"Donald Li - Eddie Lee"

"Carter Wong - Thunder"

"Frank Welker - voice of The Wild Man, and The Eye"