"There's a thing called "talent". They don't have it."

"[Shouting angrily at umpire] You call that a call?! Did you call that a call?! In all my years of baseball, I have ne…"

"I believe in the possibility of miraculous things happening, that makes every day of our lives worth getting up for."

"It's like you're saying it's okay to believe in God, but it's not okay to believe in angels. I thought they were on t…"

"No one can see me or hear me but you."

"I left in a hurry yesterday. I forgot a few of the rules. Numero uno: don't tell anyone about us. Now, I heard you al…"

"A degree from a university? From a credentialist scam for laundering privilege? Amazing."

"99.9% of what's called activism is really personal exhibitionism and brand maintenance in disguise."

"I mean, I follow a very strict reverse-aging diet and therapy program. It's very expensive, as you can imagine, but I…"

"You miserable fucking idiot, do you know what you've done?"