"How dare you say 'penis' to a dead person."

"[On finding her soul inside Roger Cobb's body] I don't believe this. I can't even die right."

"You are rude, crude, and thoroughly unattractive."

"[To his girlfriend] You bought me a gravestone for my thirty-eighth birthday?!"

"[To his dog] Don't look at me like that. I'm not going in there as a messenger boy; I'm a trained legal advisor. No m…"

"Is everyone here bananas?"

"[After Edwina has called him a 'peasant'] Look, lady. Just because my grandfather didn't rape the environment and exp…"

"[To Edwina] You're like an energy vampire. You suck the life out of people and take the fun out of being a lawyer."

"[Regarding the empty church at Edwina's memorial] You really know how to pack them in."

"Gailard Sartain - Fulton Norris"