"Bad news sells best. 'Cause good news is no news."

"I've done a lot of lying in my time. I've lied to men who wear belts. I've lied to men who wear suspenders. But I'd n…"

"It's a good story today. Tomorrow, it'll be yesterday's news and they'll wrap a fish in it."

"I can handle big news and little news. And if there's no news, I'll go out and bite a dog."

"When they bleached your hair, they must have bleached your brain too."

"You know what's wrong with New Mexico, Mr. Wendel? Too much outdoors."

"I don't go to church. Kneeling bags my nylons."

"I've met a lot of hard-boiled eggs in my time, but you--you're twenty minutes."

"Kirk Douglas - Charles 'Chuck' Tatum"

"Jan Sterling - Lorraine Minosa"