Tall Tale

"Jared Harris as Head Thug Pug"

"Catherine O'Hara as Calamitty Jane"

"Patrick Swayze as Pecos Bill"

"[referring to Babe] Is that ox really blue?"

"Seems like fishing's the only time me and pa actually get along."

"I just want to get home."

"Kind of makes it all worthwhile, don't it?"

"Widowmaker's kind of particular of folks taking liberties with him. Matter of fact, last man who tried that… Widowmaker kicked him so hard he ended up halfway to the Moon. Name of Lanky Hank. He bounced up and down for a month of Sundays until finally I just had to shoot him down so he could have a proper burial."

"You sure do know a lot for a half-growed piglet, so how’s this for plain English: stay away from the horse or he'll kill you."

"[surrounded by thugs] Howdy. [a thug punches him]"

"[after Daniel describes telephones] Everybody'll know everybody else's business? Well, in no time at all, there won't be a single place left where a man can find any privacy."

"Used to be when a man got a head start, it meant something."

"You gave it your best shot? Well, if you gave it your best shot, you ain't got nothing to be sorry for."

"Mister, you can insult me, and you can insult my friends. As a matter of fact, you can insult my mother and my horse. But mister, don't you ever insult the great state of Texas."

"First that blasted ox, now a gall-darn jackass. Might as well be ridin' turtles. [John Henry: Cold Molasses is a mule!] I wasn't referrin' to her."

"This ain't nothin' compared to the summer of '88. It was so hot, that chickens was layin' fried eggs, and babies was cryin' out sawdust. So I hightailed it up to Kansas..."

"It is amazing, the things heat'll do to a man."

"I am a ring-tailed roarer. I can draw faster, shoot straighter, ride harder, and drink longer than any man alive. I ride cyclones and I wrestle. I'm the rip-snortinest cowboy that ever rode North, South, East or West of the Rio Grande. I'm Pecos Bill."

"Never enough for you termites, is it? Not enough you swindled me out of my camp, robbed me of my trade. Now you want my woods, too. You want it all! I'm makin' my stand! At least, if I go down swinging, I go down like a man!"

"Pecos? Let me take a gander at ya... You steamin' pile of buffalo puckey. You're still ugly."

"I told Sam, "They're not loggers, they're butchers! Them and their fancy machines, cuttin' down everything in sight, the weak with the strong. A sapling won't get to full growth". Said, "Nothing will ever sprout again". You know what Sam said? He said I was behind the times. Me. Paul Bunyan. The man who invented logging. Who thought up the double-bladed axe, huh? Me. Who dreamed up the log flume? Me again. Don't think it's easy! My head hurt for days, coming up with that one! What about the grindstone? Flapjack contest! Wedge cutting! Three point stance! Me, me, me, me!"

"You watch your mouth, Pecos! Babe's very sensitive."

"[about Daniel] He's bad news, Bill. In britches."

"I'm Paul Bunyan! I'm 300 pounds of raging fury! [deflects a bullet with his axe] You're in trouble now! Don't point your little gun at me, you sissy! I can out-eat, out-swing any one of you! I'm Paul Bunyan!"

"That's a tall tale. That's a tall tale for sure."

"My name's John Henry, and mister, you got yourself a bet!"

"Even money, Pecos! You can do better than that! [Pecos Bill: I don't know, John Henry, that thingamajigger looks like it means business!] We'll see!"

"You don't know what you can do until you try."

"I never miss. Least-wise, I haven't yet."

"Twenty-pound hammer, shines like silver."

"Knowing the code ain't the same as living by it."

"I used to be the line with my daddy when I was a young'un. I never caught much, but that was never the point."

"My daddy was the same way, always telling me what to do like I didn't have no mind of my own. [...] Well now, see, he only bothered on account of how much he cared for me. Daddy was just doing the best he knew how. It's what grieves me, I never got the gumption to tell him how I felt about it. [Daniel: Why not?] Daddy got sold downriver. [Daniel: Sold?] We were slaves. It's too late for me. Let's hope it's not too late for you."

"My pa was a farmer, and I know what it's like to work the land until your hands are blistered and raw. Hoping the weather won't turn bad, praying the crop will come in, hanging on when it don't. Oh, yeah. I know what it's like to be a farmer. And I got out, hallelujah!"

"Paradise Valley. My idea of Heaven. Iron, coal, oil, copper. Riches beyond the imagination, just waiting for a few rugged individuals with the vision, the strength and the means to make their dreams come true. Gentlemen, we stand on the edge of history."

"Hackett's farm, right smack in the middle of everything. Without that deed, I won't have a bucket to spit in."

"Son, your pa's a fool. He's stuck in the past and he wants you stuck there with him. But that ain't what you want, is it? You don't want to waste your life behind a plow. You want more than that. You hate that farm! It ain't nothing but a dried up, miserable piece of ground."

"Early to bed, early to rise. Makes a boy healthy, wealthy, and alive."

"You don't stop progress, cowboy. That's the difference between me and you. I can adjust to the times. You can't."

"You fool! There'll be others just like me, and more after them and after them. Long as there's a profit to be made, we'll never stop. We're comin'!"

"This is a farm, Daniel! Work's got to be done when it's supposed to be done."

"Man works and slaves to give his son something, something worth having, and he throws it back like it ain't worth beans."

"[Pecos Bill] He's still out there, where there's still enough room for a man to wander. He's out there, where the land's still young and wild. You don't believe me? I swear to you, by the Code of the West, Pecos Bill's as real as you and me."

"Now you know the Code of the West, don't you? Respect the land, defend the defenseless, and don't you never spit in front of women or children. [spits]"

"[Stiles: And who might you be, friend?] The name's Jonas Hackett, and you ain't no friend of mine."

"This here's the deed to my farm - my farm! It's got my sweat in it. My blood, too. It's where my children were born. Where my father's buried, and it's where I want to be buried, too. And that's worth more to me than $50 an acre. It's worth more to me than any price."

"Makes it all worthwhile, doesn't it?"

"Scott Glenn as J.P. Stiles"

"I hate the farm! I wish you'd sell it, I hate it! [...] It's nothing, it's just a dried up, miserable piece of ground!"

"Nick Stahl as Daniel Hackett"