Stranger Than Fiction (2006 film)

"Kristin Chenoweth as Book Channel host"

"Harold, if you pause to think, you'd realize that that answer is inextricably contingent upon the type of life being led... and, of course, the quality of the pancakes."

"Get bent, taxman!"

"Apology accepted. But only because you stammered."

"Anarchists have a group? ... They assemble? ... Wouldn't that defeat the whole purpose?"

"Harold Crick isn't ready to go. Period."

"Truth is stranger than fiction."

"He's not crazy. He's just written that way."

"Harold Crick isn't ready to go. Full Stop."

"Will Ferrell - Harold Crick"

"Emma Thompson - Karen Eiffel"

"Dustin Hoffman - Professor Jules Hilbert"

"Maggie Gyllenhaal - Ana Pascal"

"Queen Latifah - Penny Escher"

"Tony Hale - Dave"

"Tom Hulce - Dr. Cayly"

"Linda Hunt - Dr. Mittag-Leffler"

"I left my thimble and Socialist reading material at home."

"I brought you flours."

"Alright, who just said "Harold just counted brush strokes"?"

"You have to die. It's a masterpiece."

"No one wants to die Harold, unfortunately we do. Harold, Harold listen to me. Harold, you will die, some day, some time; heart failure at the bank, choke on a mint. Some long drawn-out disease you've contracted on vacation, you will die. You will absolutely die. Even if you avoid this death, another will find you. And I guarantee, that it won't be nearly as poetic or as meaningful as what she's written. I'm sorry but it's ... it's the nature of all tragedies Harold. The hero dies, and the story goes on forever."

"Aren't you relieved to know you're not a Golem?"

"It's been a very revealing 10 seconds."

"'Little did he know', That means there's something he doesn't know, which means there's something you don't know, did you know that?"

"Meeting an insurance agent the day your policy runs out is coincidence. Getting a letter from the Emperor saying he's visiting is plot. Having your apartment eaten by a wrecking ball ... is something else entirely. Harold, you don't control your fate."

"Harold Crick was a man of infinite numbers, endless calculations and incredibly few words."

"And although this was an extraordinary day—a day to be remembered for the rest of Harold's life — Harold just thought it was a Wednesday."

"As much as I would like to, I simply cannot throw Harold Crick off a building."

"Little did he know that this simple, seemingly innocuous act would result in his imminent death."

"Everyone thinks about leaping off a building."

"We're imagining car wrecks!"

"Pneumonia. That's an interesting way to die."

"Is this a joke?"

"I don't need a nicotine patch, Penny; I smoke cigarettes."

"Like anything worth writing, it came inexplicably and without method."

"Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair, in routine and constancy... in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies. And fortunately when there aren't any cookies, we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin... or a kind and loving gesture... or a subtle encouragement... or a loving embrace or an offert of comfort. Not to mention hospital gurneys and nose plugs... and uneaten Danish... and soft-spoken secrets... and Fender Stratocasters... and maybe the occasional piece of fiction. And we must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties, which we assume only accessorize our days, are, in fact, here for a much larger and nobler cause: They are here to save our lives. I know the idea seems strange. But i also know that it just so happens to be true."

"The cookies were good. Thank you for forcing me to eat them."

"I am relieved to know I am not a golem."

"This may sound like gibberish, but I think I'm in a tragedy."

"SHUT UP! [narrator continues] No I'm not. I'm cursing you stupid voice; so shut up and leave me alone!"

"This is a story about a man named Harold Crick. And his wristwatch."