Fletch (film)

"Geena Davis - Larry"

"Tim Matheson - Alan Stanwyk"

"M. Emmet Walsh - Dr. Joseph Dolan"

"George Wendt - Fat Sam"

"Kenneth Mars - Stanton Boyd"

"If you haven't guessed, there's been a lot of drug traffic on the beach lately. And I'm not talking about Robitussin and No-Doz...I'm talking about the hard stuff. I've been posing as an amiable, minor league junkie in order to get to the bottom of it. It hasn't been easy. I don't shower much."

"You know, if you shoot me, you're liable to lose a lot of those humanitarian awards."

"...and who would have known that the Vice President knew I was opening the door, but the Secret Service, they just whack [mimes door hitting him in the face] blood..."

"For another grand, I'll let you take me out to dinner."

"[to Gail Stanwyck, who answers the door wearing a towel] Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo."

"I would have been here sooner, but a manure-spreader jackknifed on the Santa Ana. Gawdawful mess. You should see my shoes."

"[after paying his ex-wife's attorney, Fletch walks him to the door] Keep ten for yourself. Go and get yourself a nice piece of ass."

"Hey, don't talk to me that way, assface. I don't work for you yet."

"[server says, "muchas gracias" and Fletch responds] Tierra Del Fuego."

"In the court ruling US vs. Fishbine, a man subjected to potential incineration while wearing another man's suit is entitled to $10,000 worth of airline tickets. It's an obscure ruling, but a very important one. To me."

"[singing] Strangers in the night, exchanging clothing, strangers in my pants..."

"Mr. Stanwyk's parents Marvin and Velma of Provo, were unable to attend the wedding. Those are three names I enjoy; Marvin, Velma, and Provo."

"Hey! I think all of our problems may have just been solved. Ed McMahon. Think I just won a million bucks. Yeahhahhah, Irwin M. Fletcher you choose. Woo wee! Oh boy, I lost. Again. Sorry."

"[Corrupt Police Chief Karlin surprises Stanwyk holding Fletch at gunpoint - said in the dryest manner possible] Thank God. The police."

"Hey that's you and Tommy Lasorda... [smashes picture] I hate Tommy Lasorda."

"Can I call my mother? Tell her how much I love her?"

"Love your body, Larry."

"[narrating] As I pulled up to my palatial, imitation apartment building, I noticed the familiar red Oldsmo-Buick of Mr. Arnold T. Pants, Esquire. Attorney for the former Mrs. Irwin M. Fletcher. Time to use the service entrance."

"Meet the only guy who changes his identity more often than his underwear."

"Fletch. Until last week, he was just another mild-mannered reporter fighting for truth, justice and a window office. Now he's being threatened, shot at, accused and arrested. And that's by the people he's trying to help. But there's still one thing even more dangerous than his work. His love life."

"Chevy Chase - Irwin M. 'Fletch' Fletcher"

"Joe Don Baker - Police Chief Jerry Karlin"

"Dana Wheeler-Nicholson - Gail Stanwyk"

"Richard Libertini - Frank Walker"

"Oh, you've remodeled the garage. Must have cost you hundreds."

"[to a Doberman Pinscher] Look, defenseless babies!"

"It was something your wife said while we were in bed together. She said we had the same build. From the waist up I imagine."

"I didn't want to do this, but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pull rank on you. I'm with the Mattress Police. There are no tags on these mattresses."