"Take one Wall Street tycoon, his Fifth Avenue mistress, a reporter hungry for fame, and make the wrong turn in the Bronx... then sit back and watch the sparks fly."

"Maria Ruskin: [when she and Sherman end up in Bronx] Sherman... where are all the white people?"

"Sir Gerald Moore: I was at dinner last evening, and halfway through the pudding, this four-year-old child came alone, dragging a little toy cart. And on the cart was a fresh turd. Her own, I suppose. The parents just shook their heads and smiled. I've made a big investment in you, Peter. Time and money, and it's not working. Now, I could just shake my head and smile. But in my house, when a turd appears, we throw it out. We dispose of it. We flush it away. We don't put it on the table and call it caviar."

"Judy McCoy: I'm leaving you! [pause] After the party... and now, if you will excuse me, we have guests."

"Reverend Bacon: [about the incident with Henry Lamb] This is a tragedy! A fine young man has been struck down. God- fearing, church-going, never in trouble, graduating from high school, ready for college - and somebody comes along - some rich white people in a rich white man's car and wham! They run him down and never even stop. Now what are we going to do about these parking tickets?"

"[to court room] Racist? You dare call me racist? Well I say unto you, what does it matter the color of a man's skin if witnesses perjure themselves. If a prosecutor enlists the perjurers. When a district attorney throws a man to the mob for political gain, and men of the cloth, men of God, take the prime cuts? Is that justice? I don't hear you...Let me tell you what justice is. Justice is the law. And the law is man's feeble attempt to lay down the principles of decency. Decency! And decency isn't a deal, it's not a contract or a hustle or an angle! Decency... decency is what your grandmother taught you. It's in your bones! Now you go home. Go home and be decent people. Be decent."

"Remember guys, a frantic salesman is a dead salesman!"

"[narrating] Yes see, Sherman, who started with so much, lost everything. But he gained his soul. Whereas I, you see, who started with so little, gained everything. "What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world, but loses..." Ah well. There are compensations."

"[narrating] It was all over. There was no hope now. The darkness closed in around them. And then I noticed the most peculiar thing. Sherman was smiling."

"[narrating] Our hero, Sherman McCoy, was about to make a simple phone call. But despite the existence of 11 telephones, and 7 different lines, in 14 rooms of his 16-million-plus dollar apartment, this was a phone call he could not make at home."

"[Narrating] A $600 million bond, to which he stood to get $1.8 million on commission, which would retire the mortgage on his Park Avenue co-op. For Sherman McCoy, that was all in a day's work."

"If you're going to live in a whorehouse, there's only one thing you can do: be the best damn whore around."

"Robert Stephens - Sir Gerald Moore"

"The police have returned to the safety of their doughnut shops."

"You've just been erased."

"You're luggage!"

"Sven-Ole Thorsen - one of Petrofsky's guards"

"Olek Krupa - Sergei Ivanovich Petrofsky"

"Jon Cryer - Bartender #2"

"John Snyder - Sal"

"Tony Longo - Little Mike"

"Roma Maffia - Claire Isaacs"

"Robert Miranda - Frediano"

"John Slattery - Agent Corman"

"Mark Rolston - J. Scar"

"Joe Voterelli - Tony Two-Toes"

"K. Todd Freeman - Agent Duton"

"Michael Papajohn - Agent Schiff"

"Nick Chinlund - Agent Calderon"

"Andy Romano - Daniel Harper"

"One more thing: I work alone. If anybody comes to you and claims that I sent them...[Holds up a revolver] Use this."

"Danny Nucci - WitSec Deputy Monroe"

"James Cromwell - William Donohue"

"Robert Pastorelli - Johnny Casteleone"

"James Coburn - WitSec Chief Arthur Beller"

"Vanessa L. Williams - Lee Cullen"

"James Cann - US Marshal Robert DeGuerin"

"Arnold Schwarzenegger - US Marshal John "Eraser" Kruger"

"He will erase your past to protect your future."

"[After John throws a small concealed knife into his arm] I can't believe you nailed me with this cheap piece of mail-order shit!"

"I want this town locked up so tight, it'll make his balls ache."

"[to Sidney-Ann Strongin on television] Technologically speaking, the world's out of hand. Take the VCR. The whole idea of a VCR is that it makes it possible for you to tape what's on television while you're out of the house. But the whole point of being out of the house is so you can miss what's on television. Radio. Now there's a medium I can get behind."

"Gillian Quinn - Cara Seymour"

"Matthew Fox - Jeffrey Scaperrotta"

"Annabel Fox - Hallee Hirsh"

"Veronica Grant - Deborah Rush"

"Schuyler Fox - John Randolph"

"Nelson Fox - Dabney Coleman"