"All right. Now look, Focker, I'm a patient man. That's what 19 months in a Vietnamese prison camp will do to you. But I will be watching you, studying your every move. And if I find that you are trying to corrupt my firstborn child, I will bring you down, baby. I will bring you down to Chinatown."

"Will Ferrell - Steve Butabi"

"Chazz Palminteri - Benny Zadir"

"Mark McKinney - Father Williams"

"Eva Mendes - Bridesmaid"

"Joe Ranft - Hottie Dancer"

"Elisa Donovan - Cambi"

"Colin Quinn - Dooey"

"Lochlyn Munro - Craig"

"Dwayne Hickman - Fred Sanderson"

"Molly Shannon - Emily Sanderson"

"Dan Hedaya - Kamehl Butabi"

"Loni Anderson - Barbara Butabi"

"Michael Clarke Duncan - Roxbury Bouncer"

"Jennifer Coolidge - Hottie Cop"

"Chris Kattan - Doug Butabi"

"This summer, Prince Akeem discovers America."

"Samuel L. Jackson - Hold Up Man at McDowell's"

"Cuba Gooding, Jr. - Boy in Barber Shop"

"Allison Dean - Patrice McDowell"

"Eriq La Salle - Darryl Jenks"

"Shari Headley - Lisa McDowell"

"Madge Sinclair - Queen Aoleon"

"John Amos - Cleo McDowell"

"James Earl Jones - King Jaffe Joffer"

"Arsenio Hall - Semmi/Morris/Reverend Brown/last (ugly) woman in bar scene."

"Eddie Murphy - Prince Akeem/Clarence/Randy Watson/Saul"

"The Four Funniest Men in America are Eddie Murphy."

"Now I want you to reach onto God's unchanging hand. He helped Joshua fight the Battle of Jericho. He helped Daniel escape the lion's den. He helped Gilligan get off the island."

"[looking at the behinds of the Miss Black Awareness pageant contestants] I didn't come to preach to you today...But you know, when I look at these contestants! For the Miss Black Awareness Pageant, I feel good! I feel good, because I know there's a God somewhere! There's a God somewhere! Turn around ladies for me please! You know there's a God who sits on high and looks down low! Man cannot make it like this! Larry Flynt! Hugh Hefner! They can take the picture, but they can't make it! Only God above, the Hugh Hefner on high, can make it for ya!"

"[to Dr. Eudora Fletcher] I have an interesting case. I'm treating two sets of Siamese twins with split personalities. I'm getting paid by eight people."

"Bruno Bettelheim – Himself"

"Patrick Horgan - Narrator"

"Mia Farrow - Dr. Eudora Nesbitt Fletcher"

"Woody Allen – Leonard Zelig"

"The question of whether Zelig was a psychotic or merely neurotic was a question that was endlessly discussed among his doctors. Now I myself felt his feelings were really not all that different from the normal, what one would call the well-adjusted, normal person, only carried to an extreme degree, to an extreme extent. I myself felt that one could really think of him as the ultimate conformist."