"[to Viola (as Sebastian)] Why, why do you always talk about girls in such graphic terms?"

"Dude, come on, you're a guy, what would you do if the hottest girl in school came and asked you on a date?"

"[Seeing Olivia and 'Sebastian' meeting outside his office] What is...? Oh... Getting to know the opposite sex are we?…"

"I'd tap that."

"[Handing 'Sebastian' his food at lunch] Have a great apple and sandwich! [The next student steps up and begins to ask…"

"[When asked where the Sebastian is] Well, he must be half way to China by now, he showed us his willis & doodleberries."

"I think I played soccer once, or was it chess?"

"[tears up the manual containing the "no girls allowed" policy, before returning it to the referee] What manual? Liste…"

"Okay, how come when I wanted to ask Eunice out everyone made fun of me, but then Sebastian likes her and suddenly she…"

"[Quoting Coach] Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them."