"You are one daffy invididual!"

"I like it... Hit the road, flee for your life, meet a doll who's got "once and a lifetime girl of my dreams and reaso…"

"[After the alligator boy screams] That be a cry laden with pain and sorrow"

"When you think about it, the world is divided into 2 groups... pandas and alligator boys"

"[Telling Jack that the whore thought Pilot was sexually confused] Sexual confusion... I mean, you don't think I have …"

"So, it was cool, you know? I told her about my troubles and she was like, 'sexual confusion's a tricky thing'. Sexual…"

"[To Jack and Pilot] Are you guys by any chance, in love?"

"A field... I need a field... A field in which to frolic!"

"Congratulations you just became the Sir Edmund Hillary of assholes. You climbed the highest mountain, Pilot. There's …"

"[As he has raw sex with Jilly Miranda] Jack and Jilly went up the hilly to fetch a pale of water!"