"I like it... Hit the road, flee for your life, meet a doll who's got "once and a lifetime girl of my dreams and reason to believe" written all over her like so much graffiti. It could only happen to the god of fuck."

"[To Jack and Pilot] Are you guys by any chance, in love?"

"Arden Myrin as Lucy"

"Desmond the alligator boy is a major happener"

"So, it was cool, you know? I told her about my troubles and she was like, 'sexual confusion's a tricky thing'. Sexual confusion? I mean, easy on the sexual confusion tip, baby. You make me sound like a guy in a raincoat with a fistful of vaseline, you know? [Laughs] Sexual confusion... I mean, you don't think I have sexual confusion, do you...?"

"Stephen Shellen as Clark Hayes"

"Jarret Thomas as Kid #1"

"Madeline Parquette as Pilot's Mom"

"Kimberley Kates as Jilly Miranda"

"[Walks up to Pilot] You the boyfriend? You like alligator dick? [Touches Pilot's lips] Like to suck it?"

"When you think about it, the world is divided into 2 groups... pandas and alligator boys"

"[After the alligator boy screams] That be a cry laden with pain and sorrow"

"[Telling Jack that the whore thought Pilot was sexually confused] Sexual confusion... I mean, you don't think I have sexual confusion, do you?"

"Jake Gyllenhaal as Pilot"

"Jared Leto as Jack"

"Jeremy Piven as Scawldy"

"Mark Rolston as Burt Miranda"

"Come as you are"

"[As he has raw sex with Jilly Miranda] Jack and Jilly went up the hilly to fetch a pale of water!"

"George Spielvogel III as Boneman"

"Matthew Davis as Booty"

"Selma Blair as Cassie"

"What is that feeling when you're driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? ...it's the too-huge world vaulting us, and it's good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies...""

"A field... I need a field... A field in which to frolic!"

"Congratulations you just became the Sir Edmund Hillary of assholes. You climbed the highest mountain, Pilot. There's five big ones."

"You are one daffy invididual!"

"Budd Boetticher - Judge Nizetitch"

"Daniel Zacapa - Arturo"

"Ann Magnuson - Shaleen McKussic"

"Arliss Howard - Gregg Lindroff"

"J. T. Walsh - DEA Agent Hal Maguire"

"Raul Julia - Commandante Xavier Escalante / Carlos"

"Gabriel Damon - Cody McKussic"

"Arye Gross - Andy Leonard"

"A dangerous mix.Scott"

"You meet at Orville and Wilbur's every Christmas. He throws his Chevrolet keys on the bar. You throw your Porsche keys on the bar. You pick up your drink with a gold Rolex on your wrist. He wears a Timex. Even if he wasn't a cop he'd hate your guts."

"Mel Gibson - Dale "Mac" McKussic"

"[to Maguire] Let's see now: you've lost half a million dollars, confiscated a ton of useless coke, and been responsible for the murder of a federal informant, and that... that's just tonight."

"What is it? You need some chap stick or lip gloss or something? Because your lips keep getting stuck on your teeth. Or is that your idea of a smile?"

"Michelle Pfeiffer - Jo Ann Vallenari"

"You son of a bitch! How could you do this? Friendship is the only choice in life you can make that's yours! You can't choose your family, God damn it - I've had to face that! And no man should be judged for whatever direction his dick goes - that's like blaming a compass for pointing north, for Christ's sake! Friendship is all we have! We chose each other. How could you fuck it up? How could you make us look so bad?"

"I think it's time for both of us to quit. I've seen it coming for some time now, cocaine is no goddamn good for anyone. The future, the future is grass... grass, buddy. I got sixty ton of Thai stick coming in... it's on the way. [slumps over dead]"

"I don't know what it is about going to high school with someone that makes you feel you're automatically friends for life. Who says, who says friendship lasts forever? We'd all like it to, maybe. But maybe... it just wears out like everything else. Like tires. There's just so much mileage in them and then you're riding around on nothing but air."

"A dangerous cocktail."

"A business on the line. A friendship on the edge. A woman caught in the middle."

"Kurt Russell - Lieutenant Nick Frescia"

"Ely Pouget - Barbara"

"Scott Seiss — Tom"

"Ayoola Smart — Officer Reba"