"If that will make you happy, I will stop drinking. And then I would tell myself, "Tonight, I will not get wasted." And then something would happen. Or nothing would happen. And, uh, I'd get that feeling. I think you all know what that feeling is. When your skin is screaming and your hands are shaking. Uh, and your stomach feels like it wants to jump through your throat. And you know, that if anyone had a clue how wrong it felt to be sober, they wouldn't dream of asking you to stay that way. They would say, "Oh, geeze, I didn't know. Here. It's okay for you. Do that mound of cocaine. Have a drink. Have 20 drinks. Whatever you need to do to feel like a normal human being, you do it. And boy, I did it. I drank and I snorted, and I drank and I snorted, and drank and I snorted, and I did this day after day after day after night after night. And I didn't care about the consequences, because I knew they couldn't be half as bad as not using. And then one night, something happened. I woke up. I woke up on a sidewalk. And I had no idea where I was. I couldn't have told you the city I was in. And my head was pounding, and I looked down and my shirt is covered in blood. And as I'm lying there, wondering what happens next, I head a voice, and it said, "Man, this is not a way to live. This is a way to die.""