First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Officer Johnson: Please call back when you have an original joke, sir."
"Crypto: Do you deliver?"
"Officer Johnson: Yes, but there's a two dollar surcharge... wait, what?"
"Crypto: Yeah, I want to put down fifty large on the Niners?"
"Officer Johnson: I can cover that, sir."
"Crypto: What are you wearing?"
"Officer Johnson: Black polyester, sir. And I'm going commando."
"Albion Policeman: Scotland Yard here. State your emergency."
"Crypto: Is your fridge running?"
"Albion Policeman: So YOU'RE the bastard who shut off our electricity!"
"Albion Police Officer: Scotland Yard here, state your emergency."
"Albion Police Officer: 5 PM on the dot everyday! And that's when I finish work too!"
"Crypto: Ever hear of someone called Sherlock Holmes?"
"Albion Policeman: Why, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle! Good to hear from you!"
"Crypto: Inspector Freely, please?"
"Albion Policeman: There's no such officer here! And yes, I urinate with no obstructions whatsoever!"
"Crypto: May I speak to officer Michael Hunt?"
"Albion Policeman: What part of "T for Teen" don't you understand, sir?"
"Takoshima Police Woman: Moshi moshi! Takoshima Defense Force!"
"Crypto: How many Takoshimese does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
"Takoshima Police Woman: Silly prank caller, we use neon!"
"Crypto: Do you like scary movies?"
"Takoshima Police Woman: Hai! You offering?"
"Crypto: I can save you two dollars per minute on your international and long-distance calls!"
"Takoshima Police Woman: We already on calling plan, sorry."
"Crypto: Hello? Is this the Suicide Hotline? 'Cause I'm feelin' pretty incredibly depres-"
"Takoshima Police Woman: Please hold."
"Crypto: [sound of heavy breathing]"
"Takoshima Police Woman: Boyfriend-san! Not while I at work! You make me have to take special trip to ladies' room!"
"Tunguska KGB Officer: KGB Headquarters. How may I directing your call?"
"Crypto: I'm looking for Schlodovodowisic Smirnoff."
"Tunguska KGB Officer: He is not being here, may I be taking message?"
"Crypto: Hey, is your fridge running?"
"Tunguska KGB Officer: What is being fridge?"
"Crypto: Hey! I'm the guy you're looking for!"
"Tunguska KGB Officer: You are being such jerk, Ivan."
"Crypto: Yeah, can I talk to Agent Meeov, first name Jack?"
"Tunguska KGB Officer: I am not knowing. Are you having lotion around?"
"Crypto: Is this information?"
"Tunguska KGB Officer: No this is disinformation. Please hold, I connect you."
"KGB Cosmonaut: Secret Soviet Moonbase Solaris!"
"Crypto: COME QUICK! THERE'S SOME AMERICAN WACKO PLAYING GOLF ON THE MOON!"
"KGB Cosmonaut: Da - be pulling other one."
"Crypto: D'ja hear about the phone that worked on the moon, despite the fact there's no air?"
"KGB Cosmonaut: Shut upski."
"Crypto: Is your biodome runnin'?"
"KGB Cosmonaut: I am hearing this joke before..."
"Crypto: Yeah, I ordered a pizza, like, seven million years ago!"
"KGB Cosmonaut: Is being on way comrade, driver is just leaving."
"Crypto: Yeah, can I speak to comrade Meeov, first name Jack?"
Heute, am 12. Tag schlagen wir unser Lager in einem sehr merkwürdig geformten Höhleneingang auf. Wir sind von den Strapazen der letzten Tage sehr erschöpft, das Abenteuer an dem großen Wasserfall steckt uns noch allen in den Knochen. Wir bereiten uns daher nur ein kurzes Abendmahl und ziehen uns in unsere Kalebassen-Zelte zurück. Dr. Zwitlako kann es allerdings nicht lassen, noch einige Vermessungen vorzunehmen. 2. Aug.
- Das Tagebuch
Es gab sie, mein Lieber, es gab sie! Dieses Tagebuch beweist es. Es berichtet von rätselhaften Entdeckungen, die unsere Ahnen vor langer, langer Zeit während einer Expedition gemacht haben. Leider fehlt der größte Teil des Buches, uns sind nur 5 Seiten geblieben.
Also gibt es sie doch, die sagenumwobenen Riesen?
Weil ich so nen Rosenkohl nicht dulde!
- Zwei außer Rand und Band
Und ich bin sauer!