"It doesn't matter who you love, it's that you love. Who cares if men marry men or women marry women? In San Francisco you don't care, and I applaud that. And I applaud Mayor Newsom for being so brave."

"See, I thought that Jay has had too many high class, very hoity-toity guests on this week. And I wanted to bring everything down a notch or two."

"And guys, if you exploit a girl, it will come back to get you. That's called "karma.""

"Wollstonecraft was an Enlightenment philosopher who argued for the rule of reason and the education of women, and against monarchy and slavery. Her "radical" views earned her the epithet "a hyena in petticoats," most likely from an ancestor of Bill O'Reilly."

"Bill O'Reilly is a demon-possessed messenger of Satan. O'Reilly regularly slanders Westboro Baptist Church on his program, and he only has guests who join him in slandering Westboro Baptist Church, and refuses to allow Westboro Baptist Church to respond! Thus, Bill O'Reilly is a blaspheming hell-bound hypocrite claiming to be fair and balanced and running a no-spin zone. Hah! O'Reilly is of his father the Devil."

"When, when did conservatives steal rock and roll from us? When did that happen? All the AM stations, nothing but racist fascist douchebags, all their break music is this blasty-ass, gut-bucket rock and roll. Bill O'Reilly will play the White Stripes, for God's sakes! Then you turn it over to NPR and their break music is a sad, lonely saxophone echoing through a sewer pipe somewhere. When did that happen?"

"He’s a character I’ve known since I was a kid. He makes me laugh more than anything else, because he’s this faux character, a character he plays in a series called The O’Reilly Factor—the braggadocio Irish guy who plays as if he’s smarter than you, but in fact he doesn’t know very much and can’t really back up what he says. Everybody from my neighborhood knows that character and thinks that character is a joke. You know, the tough-guy part of it is the biggest fraud of all. Bill’s from Long Island. Sorry, that’s not tough-guy territory."

"Sean Hannity ain't never going to let white supremacy go, and he genuinely believes what he's doing. Bill O'Reilly and others are just trying to get ratings, but Hannity really believes that whites got special white rights. He's not just being anti-black; it's anti-anything other than white. He won't let that issue die."

"O'Reilly is the ultimate spinmeister, the consummate propagandist. And as they teach in Propaganda 101, the first argument of the successful propagandist is to claim that what you are doing is telling the straight truth, while everyone with whom you disagree is doctoring their story to cover up their flaws. In O'Reilly's case, the "no-spin" zone is a place where most Republicans get treated with kid gloves, while their adversaries are raked over the coals."

"I'm not smart enough to debate you point to point on this, but I have the feeling that about 60% of what you say is crap."

"The picture of this grieving mother demanding answers from a war president was too much for Bill O'Reilly of Fox News. He and Rush Limbaugh launched a relentless right-wing smear campaign against her. O'Reilly called her actions "treasonous.""

"Like all great theologies, Bill's can be boiled down to one sentence: There must be a god, because I don't know how things work."

"Petty malice is now the major premise of American life. This meanness has become so common that it even dominates our leisure time, with Americans worshipping mega-millionaire assholes like Bill O'Reilly and Donald Trump. It's an utterly masochistic addiction- and no wonder, since Middle America has taken so much shit over the past 30 years, we've grown not only used to the meanness, but we can even get a rush off it. America is now Zed Nation: addicted to the pain that our masters so lovingly deliver to us, rewarding them not only with greater incomes, but with our admiration, our leisure time, and our souls."

"If you cross Fox News Channel, it's not just me, it's Roger Ailes who will go after you... The person gets what's coming to them but never sees it coming. Look at Al Franken, one day he's going to get a knock on his door and life as he's known it will change forever. That day will happen, trust me."

"… it's one of those mitts, those loofa mitts you know, so I got my hands in it... So anyway I'd be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples really hard, kinda' kissing your neck from behind...and then I would take the other hand with the falafel [sic] thing and I'd just put it on your wet, juicy, pussy but you'd have to do it really light, just kind of a tease business or else I'd get very horny...."

"Bill O'Reilly: 13,000 dead now in the USA. Many people who are dying, both here and around the world, were on their last legs anyway, and I don't want to sound callous about that.Sean Hannity: You're gonna get — hold on, you're going to get hammered for that.O'Reilly: Well, I don't care. I mean, a simple man tells the truth."

"History will record that the two biggest deficits of the Obama administration were the failure to create a robust economy and the president's retreat from the terrorist battlefield. For years, Talking Points has been telling you the Obama administration has no strategy to defeat the ISIS threat. But President Obama somehow does not seem to understand that the civilized world is losing the fight against ISIS. Just hours before the Paris attack the president said 'we have contained' ISIS. Obviously that is not true. They are a threat worldwide, they continue to kill people with impunity. Nevertheless, the president is unrepentant and unwilling to admit that his strategy has failed. At a press conference today in Turkey he said, 'The strategy we're pursing is the right one.' The Republican Party is taking note. Senator Ted Cruz says 'Barack Obama does not wish to defend the country,' and Senator Lindsey Graham warns, 'There's a 9/11 coming, and it's coming from Syria if we don't disrupt their operations inside of Syria.' It is long past time that we the people demand ISIS be defeated, not contained."

"John Stossel: That nun has something to complain about, but your "war on Christianity", you're just a 10-foot-tall crybaby. Bill O'Reilly: I'm crying. John Stossel: It's not so bad. I mean, no, Christians aren't being killed. Bill O'Reilly: No, not yet. John Stossel: And not in America, and they're not going to be. Bill O'Reilly: They're verbally being killed."

"O'Reilly: Mr. Silverman, it is a fact that Christianity is not a religion, it is a philosophy. If the government were saying that the Methodist religion, all right, deserves a special place in the public square, I will be on your side. Silverman: So you are going to actually tell me on live television that Christianity is not a religion? O'Reilly: Correct. It is a phil-o-so-phy."

"Bill O'Reilly: What religion is involved with Christmas? What religion? David Silverman: Christianity. O'Reilly: That's not a religion. That's a philosophy."

"Do the atheists in Wisconsin realize they're going to Hell? Did you ask them that?"

"It's not a traditional America anymore. And there are 50% of the voting public who want stuff. They want things, and who is going to give them things? President Obama. He knows it, and he ran on it. And whereby 20 years ago, President Obama would have be roundly defeated by an establishment candidate like Mitt Romney. The white establishment is now the minority. And the voters, many of them, feel that this economic system is stacked against them and they want stuff."

"I'll tell you why it's not a scam, in my opinion, all right? Tide goes in, tide goes out, never a miscommunication. You can't explain that."

"Every fair-minded person should support government safety nets for people who need assistance through no fault of their own. But guys like McDermott don't make distinctions like that. For them, the baby Jesus wants us to "provide," no matter what the circumstance. But being a Christian, I know that while Jesus promoted charity at the highest level, he was not self-destructive."

"If they wanna be nonbelievers, I don't care, that's up to them, but it's just as much of a stretch to be an atheist as it is to believe in God, because there's no explanation for how the planet got here, and Hawkings doesn't have it."

"Well, you know, if Mr. Hawking wants to come on and tell us how the earth got here or why the sun comes up and goes down without interruption, why the tide goes in and goes out — no miscommunications ever, you know, if he wants to explain how all that happened, we're ready to receive him, but of course he can't."

"Meantime, the anti-liberal Fox News Channel and The Wall Street Journal, whose editorial page is conservative, are both doing very well."

"Millions of American families are dealing with teenage pregnancy...It is true that some Americans will judge Governor Palin and her family. There's nothing anyone can do about it."

": I only said there's no difference between what the two do. I want everybody to know that."

": [laughing] Alright."

": I didn't say she was a Nazi."

": I still don't think she's a Nazi."

": What's the difference?"

": She actually—"

": I don't see any difference between Huffington and the Nazis."

": Well, I think there's a difference. Well, she actually— I think things have actually improved because people like you and like myself speak out about these things and say that, hey this is a—"

";Mary Katherine Ham"

": You know, what's the difference between the Ku Klux Klan and Arianna Huffington? What's the difference?"

"On the pinhead front, 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant. The sister of Britney says she is shocked. I bet. Now most teens are pinheads in some ways. But here the blame falls primarily on the parents of the girl, who obviously have little control over her...."

"It's all coming from the haters on the far left. Just throw it in the garbage. But the regular folks who really enjoy this program, what we want you to ask, Laurie, is why do we do things? Why do we do them?"

"Many parents are worried in America about the gay agenda and indoctrination of their children to see homosexuality in a certain way."

"You know, look, if I could strangle these people and not go to hell and get executed, I would, but I can't."

"CNN has gone to the dark side."

"There wasn't one person in Sylvia's who was screaming, "MFer, I want more iced tea." You know, I mean everybody was— it was like goin' into an Italian restaurant in an all-white suburb, in the sense of people were sitting there and they were ordering and having fun, and there wasn't any kinda craziness at all."

"And I couldn't get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia's Restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it's run by blacks, primarily black patronship. It was the same."

":Look, you're a propagandist, Senator. You're a propagandist."

":Focus on your legitimate criticism."

":You didn't hear it and you don't know what I did."