"What good is paying out the nose to live here if we never take advantage of it? We might as well live somewhere else and just, visit every once and a while and actually do things. Y'know? Like hit the Met. Take in a Broadway show. Carnegie Deli. Wow, that's a really big sandwich. I don't know if I can eat all that."

"Dave told me this awesome thing about L.A. No, listen. He says the whole town is like this blank canvas, and whatever you bring to it, that's what it is. It's just this random collection of neighborhoods where it's always sunny and it basically reflects wherever you're at back at you. So if you're happy, L.A. is great. If you're not, L.A. sucks. But it has nothing to do with Los Angeles. Because, get this, there's no such thing!"

"You know I haven't encountered a single mosquito since I've been here? It's like a no-mosquito-zone. They're outlawed or something."

"Oh my god, baby. I wish you were here with me right now. I got Dave's jeep and I'm driving on the PCH. And the sun is about to set. It is fucking unbelievable."

"You're my man. You're my big, funny, floppy-haired man."

"I'm afraid my brain is going to melt. I'm afraid we will never walk anywhere ever again. I'm afraid... We won't care about things anymore, except opening weekend grosses and pilates classes."

"If you don't feed me, soon, I'm gonna eat your face."

"I knew he'd bail. Dave was always way too much of a wimp to stay here forever."

"And you thought, I know what kids love: alopecia awareness parties."

"We're not really cousins. Parents, best friends..."

"I'm also, in addition to being super drunk, hairless. And unlike some of the hot gay men here, I do not wax."

"Okay. I promise this won't take long. It's actually just an excuse to get drunk with the people I love. So, as a little extra dash of fun, whenever anyone says, oh, I don't know, follicle, we can all drink. Follicle!"

"Tuck, tuck, don't forget to tuck!"

"Sorry I don't have a television. What's your thing? What do you like? You like art, huh? To draw? Really? Here. Draw yourself a television."

"You know this is my job, don't you? I have to sit here and write things. It's... It's not easy with you staring at me."

"Don't look at me like that. You fucked-- You screwed up a very important meeting for me back there. I think I've been more than accommodating."

"So look. You're obviously having some family issues. But whatever. It's childhood. It ends."

"Can we stop running? I'm almost thirty."

"Oh, I fear success. Why do I fear success?"

"I gotta leave you here, dude, I don't know what else to do with you."

"I went out last night trying to fuck up my life and it worked."

"Innocence of the Young."

"If people die the moment that they graduate, then surely it's the things we do beforehand that count."

"I don't want to lose my virginity to a piece of fruit."

"If you never do anything, you never become anyone."

"[about sex] It's funny though, isn't it? All that poetry and all those songs, about something that lasts no time at all."

"The life I want, there is no shortcut."

"Knowing a famous author is better than becoming one. It shows you're connected."

"Someone told me that in about 50 years, no one will speak Latin, probably. Not even Latin people."

"Carey Mulligan - Jenny Mellor"

"Peter Sarsgaard - David Goldman"

"Dominic Cooper - Danny"

"Rosamund Pike - Helen"

"Emma Thompson - Miss Walters"

"Olivia Williams - Miss Stubbs"

"Alfred Molina - Jack Mellor"

"Cara Seymour - Marjorie Mellor"

"Sally Hawkins - Sarah Goldman"

"Matthew Beard - Graham"

"Ellie Kendrick - Tina"

"Doing stuff is overrated. Like Hitler. He did a lot. But don't we all wish he woulda just stayed home and gotten stoned? - Dex // Oh, I see. So you're only options are to get stoned or commit genocide? - Syd"

"I'm not looking for enlightenment, Dex. I'm looking for a girlfriend—that’s it. - Dave // It's all connected. - Dex"

"Don't pretend. Just really let go of your desire. - Dex"

"Look chicks are like hunters, man. They want to bag a lion or a bear, something really hard to catch. And along comes Dave, you know, and you're like this affectionate little puppy. You're cute, but you're way too easy to catch and that bores them and with chicks, boredom equals death, man. You can't bore them. - Dex"

"Have you ever noticed how at the beginning of a relationship, right, a guy will do just about anything with his girlfriend because just the thought of seeing her naked gets him excited about going to the opera. - Dex"

"Don Giovanni slept with thousands of women because he was afraid he wouldn't be loved by one. - Syd"

"You have to do something excellent in her presence thus demonstrating your sexual worthiness. - Dex"

"Getting out of that category of friend is harder than getting out of Alcatraz. - Dex"

"Act like a woman can't join your club and she'll do almost anything to get in. - Friend of Dex's"

". . . when I'm hanging out with a woman, that's all I'm doing is hanging out—talking, listening. I'm not sitting there thinking about how to get in bed with her and this completely confuses them, because they're saying, "Wait a minute. I'm so much better looking than this guy. Isn't he attracted to me?" The basic principle: We pursue that which retreats from us. - Dex"