"Look, Buttermaker, you're not my father and I'll not move an inch to play baseball for you any more. So why don't you get back into that sardine can of yours and go, go vacuum the bottom of the Pacific Ocean? I've got business to take care of. You're blocking my customers with your car."

"Scott Firestone - Regi Tower"

"The coach is waiting for his next beer. The pitcher is waiting for her first bra. The team is waiting for a miracle. Consider the possibilities."

"Gary Lee Cavagnaro - Mike Engelberg"

"Brett Marx - Jimmy Feldman"

"David Stambaugh - Toby Whitewood"

"Alright men, now here's the play we're gonna use. I don't think the guards know this formation. It's called 'incidental punishment after the ball is blown dead.' Remember, any man you tackle gets an elbow, knee, or kick in the mouth."

"First Down...And Ten Years To Go."

"It's Survival of the Fiercest and Funniest"

"The most important thing to remember is: to protect your quarterback - ME!"

"Burt Reynolds - Paul "Wrecking" Crewe"

"You know what my problem has been all my life? I've always had my shit together. Always. My problem's been I couldn't lift it."

"Robert Tessier - Connie Shokner"

"Ray Nitschke - Bogdanski"

"Richard Kiel - Samson"

"Joe Kapp - Walking Boss"

"George A. Jones - Big George"

"Charles Tyner - Unger"

"Mike Henry - Rassmeusen"

"Jim Nicholson - Ice Man"

"John Steadman - Pop"

"Bernadette Peters - Warden's Secretary"

"Harry Caesar - Granville"

"Eddie Albert - Warden Hazen"

"Ed Lauter - Captain Knauer"

"Michael Conrad - Nate Scarboro"

"James Hampton - Caretaker"

"Peter King as Himself"

"Courteney Cox as Lena (uncredited)"

"Dan Patrick as Police Officer"

"Adam Schefter as Himself"

"Chris Berman as Himself"

"Lauren Sanchez as Herself"

"Patrick Bristow as Walt"

"Bill Romanowski as Guard Lambert"

"Cloris Leachman as Lynette Grey"

"Allen Covert as Referee"

"Conrad Goode as Guard Webster"

"Jim Rome as Himself"

"Kevin Nash as Sgt. Engleheart"

"Steve Austin as Guard Dunham"

"Michael Papajohn as Guard Papajohn"

"Brian Bosworth as Guard Garner"

"James Cromwell as Warden Rudolph Hazen"

"William Fichtner as Cpt. Wilhem Knauer"

"Tracy Morgan as Miss Tucker"

"David Patrick Kelly as Unger"

"Eddie Bunker as Doc "Skitchy" Rivers"

"Steve Reevis as "Baby Face" Bob Rainwater"