"The Arctic Night-lights. Yeah. "As if the natural world's been turned upside down." Lord Mandrake. Vikram, get some cutaways of this miracle. Klaus, Ogata, put out the deck fires before we sink."

"Those fucking amateurs. You left your dog, you idiots!"

"Go downstairs and throw a tarp over anything that says "Operation Henessey" on it."

"The first thing that goes through a captain's head when he hears there's low morale goin' around is: "What'd I do? Is it all my fault? "Well, he's probably right. Most of us have been together a long time. There are others that were here before that. Do you all not like me anymore? I mean, what am I supposed to do? I don't know. Look, if you're not against me... don't cross this line. If yes, do. I love you all."

"It's probably the last adventure I've got in me. I was hopin' to go out in a flash of blazes, but I'll probably just end up goin' home."

"Oh, shit! Swamp leeches. Everybody, check for swamp leeches, and pull them off... Nobody else got hit? I'm the only one? What's the deal?"

"What a shame. They had a bartender here, Kino, made the best rum cannonball I've ever tasted."

"We'll give them the reality this time. A washed-up old man with no friends, no distribution deal, wife on the rocks, people laughin' at him, feelin' sorry for himself."

"Wolodarsky, go get the keys to that fishing boat, and throw them in the water. No, wait. They might have another set. Just blow it up."

"I'm about to blow my stack. I turn my back, and the bullshit begins. Ned, you're a scumbag. And, Jane, you're a goddamn liar."

"I'm sorry I never acknowledged your existence all those years. It won't happen again. I mean it. You are my son to me. Almost more so."

"Give me that camera. I'm gonna smash it over your head. Cut!"

"This is the first time Eleanor's ever cried in front of me as long as I've known her. Except for once when she got her arm caught in the deck winch."

"Well, I was a little embarrassed at first. Obviously people are gonna think I'm a showboat and a little bit of a prick. But then I realized... that's me. I said those things. I did those things. I can live with that."

"[referring to the shark that ate his friend, Esteban] I wonder if it remembers me."

"We complete the adventure, but another member of our crew has been lost. This one was my son. Also our equity partner. We start the voyage home in our wounded vessel."

"This is an adventure."

"[while playing poker with pirates] Steven. Are you rescuing me? [Steve shrugs awkwardly] Fold. [Alistair is shot by one of the pirates]"

"They made soup out of my research turtles."

"We've never made great husbands, have we? Of course, I have a good excuse. I'm part gay."

"Is that one of mine? I think one of my research turtles survived."

"Where are you coming from, jack off? Shit."

"Who the shit is Kingsley Zissou?"

"Thanks. Thanks a lot for not picking me."

"Hell of a damn grave. Wish it were mine."

"Prized Beagle - Buckley"

"Alec Baldwin - Narrator"

"Danny Glover - Henry Sherman"

"Bill Murray - Raleigh St. Clair"

"Owen Wilson - Eli Cash"

"Ben Stiller - Chas Tenenbaum"

"Luke Wilson - Richie Tenenbaum"

"Gwyneth Paltrow - Margot Tenenbaum"

"Anjelica Huston - Etheline Tenenbaum"

"Gene Hackman - Royal Tenenbaum"

"You Are Invited To A Remarkable Family Gathering."

"FAMILY ISN'T A WORD...IT'S A SENTENCE."

"The crickets and the rust-beetles scuttled among the nettles of the sage thicket. "Vámonos, amigos," he whispered, and threw the busted leather flintcraw over the loose weave of the saddlecock. And they rode on in the friscalating dusklight."

"Wildcat was written in a kind of obsolete vernacular. Wildcat...pkow. Okay, I'm gonna go."

"Well, everyone knows Custer died at Little Bighorn. What this book presupposes is... maybe he didn't?"