"Jack: Ah, bon soir. S'il vous plait, je voudrais un verre de lait au chocolat et une soupe de oignon et un sandwich avec... How do you say grilled cheese? [mumbled French on from the phone] Merci, exactement, merci beaucoup."

"Because I have alopecia."

"Maybe we could express ourselves more fully when we say it without words."

"Did you get maced too?"

"[While Francis and Peter are fighting] Stop including me!"

"I told you not to come here."

"You're bleeding like crazy!"

"I'll take the bottom bunk because I'm the oldest and my ankle's fractured."

"I tried my hardest. I don't know what else to do."

"I live here. These people need me."

"Waris Ahluwalia - Vikram Ray"

"I still wish I could breathe underwater."

"If you ever touch me again I will kick your goddamn teeth out."

"I ought to have stayed in Kentucky where I belong."

"Robyn Cohen - Anne-Marie Sakowitz"

"Noah Taylor - Vladimir Wolodarsky"

"Not if I don't see you first, sonny..."

"Bud Cort - Bill Ubell"

"I've never seen so many electric jellyfish in all my life!"

"Psst! There's something in the coat check."

"I'm gonna fight you, Steve!"

"Seu Jorge - Pelé dos Santos"

"Anjelica Huston - Eleanor Zissou"

"Willem Dafoe - Klaus Daimler"

"I hear what you're saying, but I think you misjudge the guy."

"Cate Blanchett - Jane Winslett-Richardson"

"Jeff Goldblum - Alistair Hennessey"

"Captain, I am required by law to notify the bank of any illegal activities..."

"Owen Wilson - Ned Plimpton"

"Bill Murray - Steve Zissou"

"Land ho! Port-au-Patois dead ahead! Port-au-Patois! Port-au-Patois! Ho! Ho! Ho! Land ho! Ho!"

"Michael Gambon - Oseary Drakoulias"

"I need to find a baby for this father."

"Actually, I was sort of terrified about having this baby. And right now I'm not really scared of anything. Maybe it's my hormones."

"Bloody hell. God save that poor little stooge."

"Oh, we were like glory's gate, my darling. We were like that bloody shark of yours. We swam with the, um, uh — Oh, goddamn it. I had it on the plane. What was I gonna say? Ah, well."

"I'm also a human being."

"Tell me. Who knocked up the reporter?"

"We fuckin' stole it, man"

"Bill Ubell here. I'm on a pay phone. I am still blindfolded. My arms are bound. But a young boy has been kind enough to assist me. There's not much chance I'll get another opportunity to call... so I thought I would ask if— What? No."

"Thanks. Thanks a lot for not picking me."

"Who the shit is Kingsley Zissou?"

"Oseary, this is probably my son Ned. We just met."

"Is that one of mine? I think one of my research turtles survived."

"Are you finding what you were looking for... out here with me? I hope so."

"That pregnant slut is playing us like a cheap fiddle!"

"Where are you coming from, jack off? Shit."

"You know, I'd be jealous about you staying at Ali's place, except I always thought he was kind of a closet queer."

"Supposedly Cousteau and his cronies invented the idea of putting walkie-talkies into the helmet. But we made ours with a special rabbit ear on the top so we could pipe in some music."

"We've never made great husbands, have we? Of course, I have a good excuse. I'm part gay."