"Tony Hawks: "I've been alone with you inside my mind, and in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times, I sometimes see you pass outside my door, Hello...""

"Marcus Brigstocke: "It's been seven hours and sixteen days...""

"Lucy Porter: "Ooh aah, just a little bit, ooh ahh, a little bit more, ooh ahh, just a little bit...""

"Barry Cryer: "Sorry, I started without you.""

"Miles Jupp: "Well, he lasted longer than we thought he would.""

"Rory Bremner: [as Bob Dylan] "Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me...""

"Rob Brydon: "You know that it would be untrue, you know that I would be a liar...""

"Rob Brydon: "I, I love the colourful clothes she wears, and the way the sunlight plays upon her hair...""

"Rob Brydon: "If a picture paints a thousand words, then why can't I paint you?""

"Rory Bremner: "One two three o'clock, four o'clock rock, five six seven o'clock, eight o'clock rock...""

"Rob Brydon: "Listen to the ground, there is music all around...""

"Rob Brydon: "Red and yellow and pink and green, orange and purple and blue...""

"Pippa Evans: "If you see our favourite sign at the sign of the road, it says '15 miles to the LOOOOVE SHAAACK'...""

"Miles Jupp: "Round, round, get around, I get around yeah, get around, woah, I get around...""

"Pippa Evans: "I gotta feeling, that tonight's gonna be a good night...""

"Pippa Evans: "Once I had a love and it was a gas, soon turned out had a...""

"Miles Jupp: "Girl, you really got me now...""

"Pippa Evans: "Grt your motor runnin', head out on the highway...""

"Miles Jupp: "Mmmbop, bop-da-doo-wop, doo-waa mmmbop, ba-ba-ba doo-wa, doo-waa mmmbop...""

"Tony Hawks: "Nobody knows where my Johnny has gone...""

"Tony Hawks: "It's been seven hours and fifteen days...""

"Henning Wehn: "I can tell by your eyes that you've probably been crying forever...""

"Tony Hawks: "Well since my baby left me, I've found a new place to dwell...""

"Henning Wehn: [In a singing voice comparable with that of Jeremy Hardy] "You must remember this...""

"Vicki Pepperdine: "Doe - a deer, a female deer...""

"Henning Wehn: "I am just a poor boy, though my story's seldom told..." [Breaks into laughter]"

"Tony Hawks: "I can't give you anything but my love...""

"Vicki Pepperdine: "I could have danced all night...""

"Marcus Brigstocke: "Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies...""

"Marcus Brigstocke: "Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where the wedding has been...""

"Miles Jupp: "I got chills, they're multiplyin'...""

"Marcus Brigstocke: "Do you really like it? Is it, is it wicked...?""

"Marcus Brigstocke: "The road is long, with many a winding turn...""

"Vicki Pepperdine: "Knowing me, knowing you...""

"Tony Hawks: "She was just seventeen, well you know what I mean...""

"Jo Brand: "Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away...""

"Rachel Parris: "Why do you build me up, buttercup baby, just to let me down...?""

"Miles Jupp: "Wake up Maggie, I think I've got something to say to you...""

"Marcus Brigstocke: "Well look-a-bel', look-a-bel', look-a-bel', look-a-bel', oooh-wee...""

"Andy Hamilton: "Well you can tell by the way I walk, I'm a woman's man...""

"Andy Hamilton: "It's a God-awful small affair...""

"Rachel Parris: "Do you remember the twenty-first night of September...?""

"Miles Jupp: "I close my eyes...""

"Andy Hamilton: "I don't wanna talk...""

"Tony Hawks: "Yorkshire Tourist Board - Piss off!""

"Rory Bremner: "If I had a hammer...""

"Tony Hawks: "The Internet - It's what your right arm's for.""

"Caroline Quentin: "Veet - Because all women should look and feel like raw sausages.""

"Caroline Quentin: "TENA - When clenching just isn't enough.""