"There is nothing you can do for me. I just have to feel like this until I don't feel like this anymore and you're gonna have to know that you're the one that made me feel this way."

"Mike, I really appreciate you're doing this, but... it is just for the money, isn't it? It's not just so you can wear these little outfits?"

"[to April, dressed only in bra and panties] What kind of mother would I be if I didn't give my girls tits... tips?"

"[in her audition] Oh I know what y'all really want is some gross caricature of a woman to prove some idiotic point that power makes a woman masculine, or masculine women are ugly. Well shame on you for letting a man do that, or any man that does that. That means you, dear. Miss Marshall. Shame on you, you macho shit head."

"You know, I could lay a big line on you and we could do a lot of role playing, but the simple truth is that I find you very interesting and I'd really like to make love to you."

"[Mick has bought Tess some lingerie for her birthday] Y'know, Mick, just once I could go for like a sweater or some earrings... something that I could actually wear outside of this apartment?"

"For anyone who's ever won. For anyone who's ever lost. And for everyone who's still in there trying."

"[on computer] Dear Jack, There's a light bulb over my head. I know Trask and you know media. And that adds up to us finally doing a deal together. Let's run with it. Best, Katherine."

"[Upon reading Tess' day planner] Why that little... slut! That goddamn little... bitch! Secretary!"

"You got it! Oh, my God! I can't believe it! She's out! She made it out! She got out! She has her own office!"

"Sometimes I sing and dance around the house in my underwear. Doesn't make me Madonna. Never will."

"[looking at a dress] Six thousand dollars? It's not even leather!"

"I have a head for business and a bod for sin. Is there anything wrong with that?"

"[from her new, private office] Hey, Cyn. Guess where I am."

"Matthew McConaughey — Ben"

"Robert Klein — Phillip"

"Thomas Lennon — Thayer"

"One of them is lying. So is the other."

"Adam Goldberg - Tony"

"Bebe Neuwirth — Lana"

"Annie Parisse — Jeannie"

"Kathryn Hahn — Michelle"

"Kate Hudson — Andie"

"Melanie Lynskey - Gloria"

"LeAnn Rimes - Herself"

"Bridget Moynahan - Rachel"

"Tyra Banks - Zoe"

"Izabella Miko - Cammie"

"Maria Bello - Liliana "Lil" Lovell"

"John Goodman - Bill Sandford"

"Adam Garcia - Kevin O'Donnell"

"Piper Perabo - Violet Sandford"

"Is this a church meeting or is this a bar? Make some noise!"

"Okay, everybody, shut up! I'd like you to meet my new girl, whose name is... Jersey! Jersey, is an ex kindergarten teacher, and a former nun, who just escaped from the convent, and is tired of being the only virgin in New York City! Would anyone like to buy her a drink?"

"Hey, do I come to your office and honk?"

"No, it's not okay. I'm not going to make the same mistake twice. You're not going back to work for Pete. I don't care what it takes. I don't care how many bars you have to stand on. You are not coming home. I'm not letting you back in the house. Forget it."

"Violet, I saw how hard it was on your mom when she didn't make it, but if she was here she'd tell me to shut up, wish you luck and give you a big hug. I'm not going to give you a big hug and I'm not going to wish you luck, but I am going to shut up, sit here with my coffee and pretend to be mad. Is that okay?"

"I'm not lost. Somebody just moved my street."

"John Hancock - Reverend Bacon"

"Alan King - Arthur Ruskin"

"Donald Moffat - Mr. McCoy"

"Louis Giambalvo - Ray Andruitti"

"Clifton James - Albert Fox"

"Kevin Dunn - Tom Killian"

"Morgan Freeman - Judge Leonard White"

"Saul Rubinek - Jed Kramer"

"Kim Cattrall - Judy McCoy"

"Melanie Griffith - Maria Ruskin"

"Bruce Willis - Peter Fallow"