"[Phones the police for help] Help. Help. It's happening. The attack is on. O'Grady farm. Uh, send help. The leprechaun is attacking. Army, navy, guns, marines. And we're gonna need some medicine."

"Look at those tits! I wish I was a man so I could just screw myself right to the floor. And I dare you to feel that ass, Fazio. That's prime."

"Warwick Davis as Leprechaun"

"Gary Grossman as Harold"

"Come closer, come closer, my fresh young lass. Let me take a look at ya before I tap your ass. [Chuckles]"

"Teach Grant as Sean"

"Sure, walk away! I understand. If hearing the actual sound of Jayne Mansfield's head being severed from her body is too intense for you, well then, you know, more power to ya."

"[The Leprechaun starts singing while bouncing a pogo stick onto the coin seller's chest] This old Lep, he played one / He played pogo on his lung"

"[Bumps into African-American Leprechaun when entering the men's room] Watch it, nosebleed!"

"[Narrating from down in the flaming well] I'll not rest till I have me gold. Curse this well that me soul shall dwell, till I find me magic that breaks me spell."

"[Talking to himself while sitting over his pot of gold] Ah! Try as they will, and try as they might, who steals me gold won't live through the night."

"I'm not an elf and I'm not a dwarf. I'm a leprechaun."

"Nothing tastes as good as a free pizza. Now if I could only figure out how to get free beer."

"[Tory looks for a four leaf clover as the Leprechaun sneaks up to grab her hand] Little girls shouldn't look for four leaf clovers."

"[The Leprechaun manifests a topless Bridget in front of Ian] A vision before you appears to be true. But a leprechaun's magic fools humans like you."

"Didn't anybody ever tell you not to drink and levitate?"

"A thousand years ago, a man stopped me from taking me bride! I'll not let it happen again!"

"I want my gold shilling. Tell me where it is or there will be another killing."

"[Ozzie escapes from the Leprechaun in the basement] You only got away because me powers are weak! I need me gold!"

"A curse be placed upon your seed, William O'Day. You may have saved your daughter, but on me next thousandth birthday, I'll stalk your fairest offspring and claim her as me bride! [Laughs] Happy St. Patrick's Day."

"Now that was quite a load to have to explode. What a lovely lass, I had to blow up your ass but now I must hit the road!"

"[Disguised as Bridgette, laughing hysterically] You lose!"

"Cry as you may, cry as you might; its going to be one hell of a wedding night."

"Yo man, want me gold?"

"You may think this line is getting old, but believe me son, I want me gold!"

"A friend with weed is a friend indeed, but a friend with gold is the best I'm told."

"Charlie Heath as Cody"

"Bruce Blain as Ian"

"Scream as you may! Scream as you might! If you try to escape, you'll be dead on this night."

"[Rips out the dead police officer's eye and puts it into his own head] An eye for an eye, me dear."

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

"Warwick Davis as The Leprechaun"

"[Showing Bridgette the skeleton of William O'Day] A little family reunion. You have his cheek bones."

"[Appears on the TV as a injuries compensation lawyer doing an infommercial] Feeling sick? Stubbed your toe? Call this lawyer. I'll fix your woe. Agony is my business. I'll fight for you! Even you, Mitch."

"John Gatins as Scott"

"Shiek Mahmud-Bey as Watson"

"Sticky Fingaz as Cedric"

"Keesha Sharp as Chanel"

"Page Kennedy as Jamie"

"Sherrie Jackson as Lisa"

"Sonya Eddy as Yolanda"

"Donzaleigh Abernathy as Esmeralda"

"[After knocking out the Leprechaun] Leprechaun. Goddamn crackers, always breaking into niggers' houses."