"You might as well know the truth as suspect it!---Here's every nerve-shattering fact laid before your startled eyes! The love riddle the police were afraid to solve brought under the lens of public scrutiny in a picture made behind bolted doors!"

"Images of wax that throbbed with human passion! Almost woman....what did they lack?"

"IS SHE WOMAN OR WAX??? Solve it—if you dare!"

"Women of FLESH become WAX in his hands... women of wax become flesh!"

"Glenda Farrell — Florence Dempsey"

"Frank McHugh — Jim"

"Warner Bros.' Supreme Thriller"

"Another Lovely Woman Vanished from the Earth!...Another Beauty Molded to His Desire!"

"Chris Parnell as Garth Holliday"

"Dylan Baker as Freddie Shapp"

"Fred Willard as Edward "Ed" Harken"

"Greg Kinnear as Gary"

"James Marsden as Jack Lime"

"Kristen Wiig as Chani"

"Meagan Good as Linda Jackson"

"Christina Applegate as Veronica Corningstone-Burgundy"

"Josh Lawson as Kench Allenby"

"Andre the Giant gave a surprising nimble foot rub."

"The Tooth Fairy's exposed breast made the child uncomfortable."

"I'm so lonely, I paid a hobo to spoon with me."

"If you've got an ass like the North Star, wise men are gonna want to follow it."

"It's pronounced Sawn Dee-Ayy-Go."

"Who the hell is Julius Caesar? You know I don't follow the NBA!"

"By the hymen of Olivia Newton-John!"

"I can always guess how many jelly beans are in a jelly bean jar, even if I'm wrong."

"I'm not trying to be funny, but are you sure he's not a midget with a learning disability?"

"You made one mistake today. You messed with somebody from San Diego."

"Liam Neeson as a History Network anchor"

"John C. Reilly as the ghost of Stonewall Jackson"

"Kanye West as Wesley Jackson, MTV News anchor"

"Tina Fey as Jill Jansen, Entertainment News co-anchor"

"Amy Poehler as Wendy Van Peel, Entertainment News co-anchor"

"Marion Cotillard as a Quebec News Anchor"

"Jim Carrey as Scott Riles, Canadian News anchor"

"Sacha Baron Cohen as a BBC News anchor"

"Drake as a Ron Burgundy fan"

"Kirsten Dunst as El Trousias, Maiden of the Clouds"

"Judah Nelson as Walter Burgundy"

"CBC Anchors (Jim Carrey and Marion Cotillard): Sorry."

"Harrison Ford as Mack Tannen"

"Entertainment Tonight Anchor (Tina Fey): I'm so horny."

"They call bats, "Chicken of the cave.""