The Paper

"If we get art on the two kids at the walk of shame, it's "Gotcha!"."

"Sometimes you can just smell a horrendously shitty day on the way, can't you?"

"Well, you're in management now. If everybody loved you, you'd be doing something wrong."

"[Reading in a dictionary] Deadline: A date or time before which something must be done."

"Don't ask marital advice from a guy with two ex-wives and a daughter who won't speak to me."

"The problem with being my age is everybody thinks you're a father figure but you're really just the same asshole you always were."

"Don't just take a position because it's the opposite of what she says! It's like watching a bunch of sixth graders, for Christ's sake!"

"A clipboard and a confident wave will get you into any building in the world!"

"What do you think I'm trying to do?. Look, I got news for you. I'm not locked up in the men's room with a cop because it's a good time. Frankly, I've had better times, okay? I'm here because I think the story is wrong. Is it? Is it? If you have something, give it to me now, but don't stand there and act coy and say "Fuck you", because, quite frankly, it's a waste of all of our time. And you know what? I don't have any more time. I have no more fucking time. I need it fucking today, I need it right now!"

"It's a Marx Brothers movie every time I step in my office."

"I can't stay. I have to put the paper to bed. But what do you say we all get together later and go have some dessert at that... place."

"Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me."

"[Martha wants to talk to Henry] I've got 64 seconds. What's wrong?"

"Alicia's going to have to kiss my ass on this one. Come on, baby! Right here, baby!"

"Don't take the bat out of my hand. It's the ninth inning."

"[Alicia has followed Graham into the men's restroom; she is met with awkward stares from the men] I'd love it if you weren't here."

"This is great! This is great! It writes like butter. I mean, there is actual butter coming out of my pen."

"[After firing a shot inside Henry's office] Let Marty talk to her husband. Please."

"You got an honest-to-God exclusive."

"[Vinnie eating a donut] Vinnie, can you bring your creamy friend along with you and join us?"

"You wanna cover Brooklyn, then cover Brooklyn! But let me tell you something, you can't cover Brooklyn from a barstool in Manhattan."

"We taint them today, we make them look good on Saturday. Everybody's happy."

"[After fighting with Bernie in the industrial printing press floor] You... are... so... fucking... fired!"

"One of our security guards actually tried to frisk me. We're having drinks later."

"Wear a tie for the interview. And promise me you won't torpedo it on purpose, okay?"

"[A very pregnant Martha struggles in the morning] Bladder control, you don't miss it until it's gone."

"Oh, come on! I dump a big, fat juicy steak in your lap, and you ask for sauce?"

"Big scoop from the TV guys. Pinhead's brother cancels trip."

"I've bought the goddamn chair! Now it's your problem, Henry!"

"[Before attacking McDougal] Get outta my way!"

"Because your whole world can change in 24 hours."

"Michael Keaton as Henry Hackett"

"Robert Duvall as Bernie White"

"Glenn Close as Alicia Clark"

"Marisa Tomei as Martha Hackett"

"Randy Quaid as Michael McDougal"

"Jason Robards as Graham Keighley"

"Jason Alexander as Marion Sandusky"

"Spalding Gray as Paul Bladden"

"Catherine O'Hara as Susan"

"Lynne Thigpen as Janet"

"Jack Kehoe as Phil"

"Roma Maffia as Carmen"

"A behind the lines look at work, marriage and other forms of combat..."