"But that's what show business is all about. Acting like an idiot. It's not you, you're just doing your job. You know what I mean. Look at it this way, most people feel like idiots most of the time. But they don't get paid for it."

"Sunburst Cookies just light up my day!"

"Kathy Najimy - Tawny Miller"

"Paul Johansson - Blair Brennan / "Bolt""

"Teri Hatcher - Ariel Maloney / "Dr. Monica Demonico""

"Sheila Kelley - Fran"

"Whoopi Goldberg - Rose Schwartz"

"Carrie Fisher - Betsy Faye Sharon"

"Garry Marshall - Edmund Edwards"

"Kevin Kline - Jeffrey Anderson / "Dr. Rod Randall""

"Robert Downey, Jr. - David Seton Barnes"

"Sally Field - Celeste Talbert / "Maggie""

"Cathy Moriarty - Montana Moorehead / "Nurse Nan""

"All that glitter... All that glamour... All that dirt."

"Elisabeth Shue - Lori Craven / "Angelique""

"A Deliciously Malicious Comedy."

"Actors don't like to play coma. They feel it limits their range."

"I would like to voice my strong concern about this show's spiraling decline in ratings. David, ever since you took us to the Caribbean, it's been Jamaica homeless people sucking soup, and a big wave outside that cost a hundred thousand dollars. That's depressing and it's expensive, two words I hate. You know the words I like? I like the word "peppy" and the word "cheap". Peppy and cheap."

"Blue-Haired Lady: Silencio …"

"A Love Story In The City Of Dreams"

"Bondar: [at Club Silencio] No hay banda! There is no band. Il n'est pas de orquestra! This is all a tape-recording. No hay banda! And yet, we hear a band. If we want to hear a clarinette, listen. … It's all a tape. It is an illusion."

"Beware what you dream for..."

"I want you to go back to work tomorrow. You were recasting the lead actress anyway. Audition many girls for the part. When you see the girl that was shown to you earlier today, you will say, "this is the girl." The rest of the cast can stay, that's up to you. But that lead girl is not up to you. Now, you will see me one more time if you do good. You will see me two more times if you do bad. Good night."

"Wilkins! Wilkins! If that damn dog craps in the courtyard one more time, I'm just gonna bake his little butt for breakfast!"

"An actress longing to be a star. A woman searching for herself. Both worlds will collide...on Muholland Drive."

"You know, there was a man that lived here once that had a prize-fighting kangaroo. Well, you just wouldn't believe what that kangaroo did to this courtyard!"

"Silencio. No hay banda."

"I got the pool, she got the pool-man."

"What are you doing? We don't stop here."

"What picture? What are you talking about?"

"She's letting me stay here while she's working on a movie that's being made in Canada. But I guess you already know that. Well, I couldn't afford a place like this in a million years... unless, of course, I'm discovered and become a movie star. Of course, I'd rather be known as a great actress than a movie star. But, you know, sometimes people end up being both. So that is, I guess you'd say, sort of why I came here. [pause] I'm sorry. I'm just so excited to be here. I mean I just came here from Deep River, Ontario, and now I'm in this dream place. Well, you can imagine how I feel."

"This is the girl."

"A woman in search of stardom. A woman in search of herself - in the city of dreams. A key to a mystery - lies somewhere on Mulholland Drive."

"You want me to make this easy for you? No fucking way! It's not gonna be. It's not easy for me!"

"It'll be just like in the movies. Pretending to be somebody else."

"Naomi Watts - Betty Elms/Diane Selwyn"

"Michael J. Anderson - Mr. Roque"