"I am terrible at estimating human ages because it’s not one of the few things I care about. Also most of my experience is with the humans on the entertainment feed, and they aren’t anything like the ones you see in reality. (One of the many reasons I’m not fond of reality.)"

"They’re academics, surveyors, researchers, not action-hero explorers from the serials I liked because they were unrealistic and not depressing and sordid like reality."

"That sounded like a great plan, in that it didn’t involve me."

"SecUnits don’t care about the news…mostly because the news was boring and I didn’t care what humans were doing to each other as long as I didn’t have to a) stop it or b) clean up after it."

"Humans are nervous of me because I’m a terrifying murderbot, and I’m nervous of them because they’re humans."

"The big danger to humans is not raiders, angry human-eating fauna, or rogue SecUnits; it’s other humans. They kill each other either accidentally or on purpose and you have to clear that up fast because it jeopardizes the bond and determines whether the company has to pay out damages on it or not."

"Young humans can be impulsive. The trick is keeping them around long enough to become old humans. This is what my crew tells me and my own observations seem to confirm it."

"“I don’t want to be human.” Dr. Mensah said, “That’s not an attitude a lot of humans are going to understand. We tend to think that because a bot or a construct looks human, its ultimate goal would be to become human.” “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”"

"I had archives of everything that had happened since I hacked my governor module, but I hadn’t had as much relevant experience in that time. But what I did have were thousands of hours of category mystery media, so I had a lot of theoretical knowledge that was possibly anywhere from 60 to 70 percent inaccurate shit."

"Since she was human she was doing it slowly (it was like watching algae grow)."

"I can’t tell if that’s you being passive aggressive or you being willfully obtuse."

"Maybe exploring every possible outcome of each action in an inescapable loop of paranoia and anxiety wasn’t the most normal reaction-state but hey, if it was, there would be a lot fewer stupid murders."

"“The world spins despite me, not because of me,” he muttered."

"Conflict does breed innovation, but so does diversity and cultural development. Bringing people together to share ideas is just as powerful a catalyst."

"Enlightenment and peace can never be achieved by force."

"Everyone laid a hand on him and closed their eyes. It reminded Roen of one of those healing prayer circles he attended in college church. No one ever got healed, but it was a good way for him to get close to some girls."

"When someone asked Roen what he did, he explained that he typed incoherent commands that performed virtual tasks to create intangible objects. At the end of the day, Roen wasn’t sure what he did or why he did it—just that every two weeks, he received a paycheck for the hours of his life wasted, building these imaginary things on some server located somewhere."

"You’re not being paid to like your work."

"“God, he’s trying to kill me!” Doubtful, he is most likely aiming for a non-vital area. “Every part of me is vital!”"

"She is so far out of your league that you are not even playing the same sport."

"I’m not one to fall for religious psychobabble, but then I’ve always had a problem with a rabbit that lays painted eggs."

"“Always comes down to money, huh?” Makes the damn world go round."

"“Son, you hungry?” Roen said, coming up behind him. “I found this pizza joint a few blocks away. It’s French pizza—” he made a face “—but French pizza’s better than no pizza. Interested?”"

"She was at the same time extraordinarily sweet and completely vapid. She spent half of her time at school staring at her cell phone and the other half staring at herself."

"You, somehow, have the greatest potential of all my hosts, and are one of the dumbest, at the same time. “Gee, thanks for the confidence booster.” On the contrary, it is brave stupid people who change the world. The smart ones are usually too smart to even try."

"Fate is created, not ordained."

"“I don’t know how many ways I can say no before it sinks into his concrete head.” The rich rarely accept “no” as an answer."

"He was also designated the tactical lead during this operation, simply because everyone else had an accent, which would give them away in a heartbeat. Well, everyone except for Chase, who was from Dallas, but that guy couldn’t lead children to an ice cream truck, let alone a last-minute multi-faceted ambush."

"“Tao, I don’t understand why I need to know this.” Advanced mathematics opens doors to many fields of study. More importantly, it expands the way you think."

"“Well, old boy, the world is in a bit of a jam. Seems aliens as a whole are just a step below taxes on the world popularity scale.” Roen grunted. “At least the Quasing are still above politicians then.” “I would put them about even,” said Marco."

"When there is no one else left to fight, then there will be nothing left but peace."

"He ducked when he could, blocked when he had to, and gave up ground faster than the French in World War II."

"Conquering a kingdom is always the easy part. It is keeping it that is difficult."

"He was an awful liar. Tao often lamented how bad he was at it, citing it as an Achilles heel in his future career as a secret agent. It’s true. Lying, charm, and a well-fitting suit are the traits that distinguish James Bond from every other asshole with a gun. “I don’t think I even own a suit.” You do not own the other two either."

"Roen was speechless. “You… were spying on me!” Stephen laughed. “Let’s say we used you as an unpaid intelligence consultant.”"

"Symmetry, of course, was the scientific formula of beauty."

"Do not separate authority from responsibility."

"Every time I think you guys can’t get any more ridiculous, you prove me wrong."

"The biggest mistake of the twentieth century. Go. “I’m going to have to say that art school rejecting Hitler’s application, leading him toward the career choice of becoming a mass murderer. That or New Coke. You?”"

"Jill blanched. Shooting a RPG was not part of her training. It is easy. Point and pull the trigger, like operating a vacuum cleaner. “I don’t know what sorts of house cleaning you’re used to, but the ones I have—”"

"Then someone said the magic words. “The Internet is down!”"

"I tried to warn you about her. “You’re not helping.” But nope, teenage humans. The worst, most ill-conceived creatures in the universe. “Other than turkeys, right?” Yes, nothing beats those morons."

"The level of dumb you humans can achieve is quite mind-boggling."

"“What’s the trick?” It is easy. The trick is I am much smarter than you."

"Once you spend three thousand years in the same place, you are pretty much done with it forever."

"He said Heaven reminded him more than anything else of an advertisement he had once read of Southern California."

"Fierce and beautiful hunters who, when they ease up on their vigilance find themselves converted into coats and collars."