"Narrator: Since before recorded time, it had swung through the universe in an elliptical orbit so large that its very existence remained a secret of time and space. But now, in the last few years of the twentieth century, the visitor was returning. The citizens of Earth would get an extra Christmas present this year as their planet orbited through the tail of the comet. Scientists predicted a light show of stellar proportions, something not seen on earth for sixty-five million years—indeed not since the time that the dinosaurs disappeared—virtually overnight. There were a few who saw this as more than just a coincidence, but most didn't…"

"Kelli Maroney — Samantha "Sam" Belmont"

"Steve LaBeau: I'm Steve LaBeau, trapped inside your radio, the guy who really cares about you; I mean, who else would sit in this little box everyday just to play music?"

"Janice Kawaye — Sarah"

"My name is Trouble"

"Chance Boyer — Brian"

"Marc Poppel — Danny Mason Keener / DMK"

"Hector Gomez: [after child zombie smashes fist through door] Geez! There goes the neighbourhood."

"Regina Belmont: Come on, Hector: the MAC-10 submachine gun was practically designed for housewives."

"You were born with an asshole, Doris—you don't need Chuck."

"Is Night of the Comet a totally cheestastic and sometimes completely outlandish sci-fi flick? Of course. But I think it's the film's ability to embrace its own zaniness that has cemented Night of the Comets legacy in modern horror as by far one of the most inventive cult classics to have been spawned during the 80's."

"Reggie and Sam have quite a lark tooling around a seemingly empty Los Angeles, going on fancy, nonspending sprees in chic boutiques. They even meet a handsome young man who shows a distinct interest in Reggie to Sam's disappointment. Then, however, the zombies attack, and after the zombies, there arrive on the scene the members of some secret Government mission who know that their only hope of survival is to steal the young women's blood."

"They came. They Shopped. They saved the world!"

"The comet's coming, and the world will never be the same."

"It was the last thing on earth they ever expected."

"The last time it came the dinosaurs disappeared"

"Narrator: Did you ever wonder what it would be like to be one of the last people on Earth?"

"Sarah I don't know, my parents told me never to breathe anything from strangers."

"Night of the Comet is the rare film that's effective as both a science-fiction movie and a parody of a science-fiction movie."

"Night of the Comet is a successful pastiche of numerous science fiction films, executed with an entertaining, tongue-in-cheek flair that compensates for its absence in originality."

"See, Night of the Comet is legendary for being that movie where the end of the world comes and all that remains are a couple of dingbat Valley Girls who take the sudden emptying out of their city as a great opportunity to do some "Girls Just Want to Have Fun"-scored shopping."

"Silvie Debois - Benda Sviben"

"Vlasta Vrána - Kresimer Sviben"

"Camil Ducharme - Mr. Guilbault"

"Barry Boldero - Det. Heller"

"Hanka Posnanska - Mrs. Guilbault"

"Wally Martin - Doorman"

"Alan Migicovsky - Nicholas Tudor"

"Susan Petrie - Janine Tudor"

"Barbara Steele - Betts"

"Ronald Mlodzik - Merrick"

"T-E-R-R-O-R beyond the power of priest or science to exorcise!"

"BEING TERRIFIED IS JUST THE BEGINNING!"

"Going MAD is just the beginning...."

"Betts: I loathe to eat alone. It makes me feel so fat and lonely."

"Paul Hampton - Roger St. Luc"

"[to his stomach] Come on, boy. Here, boy, here. Come on, boy. Come on, fella! [gasps] You... and me... [gasps] You and me are gonna be good friends. Good friends. Shhhh-hooooo. Attaboy. Attaboy!"

"Bearded man: Have you met my daughter, Erica? She's a very beautiful girl. Come here, Erica. I just know you'll like my daughter, Erica."

"Joe Silver - Rollo Linsky"

"[To Roger St. Luc] Roger, I had a very disturbing dream last night. In this dream I found myself making love to a strange man. Only I'm having trouble, you see because he's old and dying and he smells bad and I find him repulsive. But then, he tells me that everything is erotic, that everything is sexual. You know what I mean? He tells me that even old flesh is erotic flesh. That disease is the love of two kinds of creatures for each other. Even dying is an act of eroticism. That talking is sexual. That breathing is sexual. That even to physically exist is sexual. And I believe him and we make love beautifully."

"Lynn Lowry - Nurse Forsythe"

"It's the maximum trip... at maximum speed."

"Gilda Texter - Nude motorcycle rider"

"And there goes the Challenger, being chased by the blue, blue meanies on wheels. The vicious traffic squad cars are after our lone driver, the last American hero, the electric centaur, the, the demi-god, the super driver of the golden west! Two nasty Nazi cars are close behind the beautiful lone driver. The police numbers are gettin' closer, closer, closer to our soul hero, in his soul mobile, yeah baby! They about to strike. They gonna get him. Smash him. Rape... the last beautiful free soul on this planet. But, it is written: "If the evil spirit arms the tiger with claws, Brahman provided wings for the dove." Thus spake the super guru."

"It's true, true, true, true, my friends. For, by the latest information, our soul Challenger has just broken the ring of evil the deep blue meanies have so righteously wrought. Get through 'em, baby! Get through 'em!"