"Why don't they make shows about people's daily lives you'd be interested in watching? You know, like "Sick Old Man" or "Skinny Little Weakling." "Big Fat Guy." Wouldn't you watch a show called "Big Fat Guy"? I'd watch that fucking show."

"Bide your time and everything becomes clear, and you can act accordingly."

"What's the smartest thing that ever came out of a woman's mouth? Einstein's cock."

"You tell him, you tell him I'm coming. Tell him I'm fucking coming!"

"Excited Guy: [to Valentine] That first Christopher Cross album? Wow, that record really changed my life."

"Luis Guzmán - Eduardo Roel"

"Vengeance knows no boundaries."

"Arden Myrin as Lucy"

"Jeremy Piven as Scawldy"

"Kimberley Kates as Jilly Miranda"

"Selma Blair as Cassie"

"Jake Gyllenhaal as Pilot"

"John C. McGinle as Johnny the Fox"

"Mark Rolston as Burt Miranda"

"Jarret Thomas as Kid #1"

"Jared Leto as Jack"

"Stephen Shellen as Clark Hayes"

"A field... I need a field... A field in which to frolic!"

"[Walks up to Pilot] You the boyfriend? You like alligator dick? [Touches Pilot's lips] Like to suck it?"

"Congratulations you just became the Sir Edmund Hillary of assholes. You climbed the highest mountain, Pilot. There's five big ones."

"[Telling Jack that the whore thought Pilot was sexually confused] Sexual confusion... I mean, you don't think I have sexual confusion, do you?"

"Desmond the alligator boy is a major happener"

"When you think about it, the world is divided into 2 groups... pandas and alligator boys"

"So, it was cool, you know? I told her about my troubles and she was like, 'sexual confusion's a tricky thing'. Sexual confusion? I mean, easy on the sexual confusion tip, baby. You make me sound like a guy in a raincoat with a fistful of vaseline, you know? [Laughs] Sexual confusion... I mean, you don't think I have sexual confusion, do you...?"

"[As he has raw sex with Jilly Miranda] Jack and Jilly went up the hilly to fetch a pale of water!"

"Matthew Davis as Booty"

"Madeline Parquette as Pilot's Mom"

"You are one daffy invididual!"

"[To Jack and Pilot] Are you guys by any chance, in love?"

"George Spielvogel III as Boneman"

"What is that feeling when you're driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? ...it's the too-huge world vaulting us, and it's good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies...""

"Come as you are"

"I like it... Hit the road, flee for your life, meet a doll who's got "once and a lifetime girl of my dreams and reason to believe" written all over her like so much graffiti. It could only happen to the god of fuck."

"[After the alligator boy screams] That be a cry laden with pain and sorrow"

"Jon Morrison as Angus"

"Jamie Foreman as Mark"

"Steve Sweeney as Danny"

"Edna Doré as Kath"

"Chrissie Cotterill as Paula"

"Laila Morse as Janet"

"Terry Rowley as M.C. in Club"

"Charlie Creed-Miles as Billy"

"Sam Miller as Club Comic"

"Kathy Burke as Valerie"

"Leah Fitzgerald as Michelle"

"Ray Winstone as Raymond"