"Crash, you fool! You are too late! It's time to drop the doom hammer on you. Eh, the doom hammer of doom... upon you, and... LET'S JUST DANCE, BABY!"

"I need some sort of tasty treat. Bring me maple syrup!"

"I should stick a missile in YOUR head for that!"

"Of course not! Disgusting, filthy bandicoots! I hate them with cheese."

"They made it here! Now they can help us save Dr. Cortex! / Don't be ridiculous, you stupid hominid! We're with Nina now! We're with the winner! / But Doctor Cortex is our friend... / You don't have any friends! He always kicked you in the tokus! And other... very... gentle spots! / But I liked it when he did that... / It was kinda fun... Listen: we make a deal with this filthy rodent and pie-nuts-face, and they help us save the master! Then we shower them with doom! / Yes! We shower them good! Right in the eyes!"

"I'll be good! I promise I'll be good! And once my precious master has been freed, I'll gladly betray you! You don't even look like a bandicoot!"

"That's right, stupids! You have to go to Uka Uka's lab and stop him. That's where they make all the delicious mutants! Maybe your revolting sister is there, too. Eww... girls..."

"I'll ruin you like I ruined my prom!"

"Shower him with fisticuffs, or is it cuftifists? GAH, just hit him!"

"More polka themes or cantastic doom. Cabbage rolls and coffee!"

"Ooh, you're going to love this part! YES! LOVE IT!"

"Enjoy... your SCREAMING DOOM!"

"Oh, I am the worst thing to happen to music... since Andrew Lloyd Webber!"

"Attention disgusting doom monkeys, Crash Bandicoot is loose in the facility. Please take a moment to look around your workspace. If you find a bandicoot, please DROP HUGE BOMBS ON THEM! CAUSE EXPLOSIONS, AND SHARP THINGS TO FLY INTO THEIR BODIES! AH HEH HEH HEH HEH, EH HEH! Reminder - tomorrow is muffin day in the cafeteria, mmm, muffins! That is all."

"Come on everybody! Sing along, you all know the tune! Doooomy doomy-doooom doom... shooby-doomy-doomy doooom doom... Eh heh heh!"

"Ooh, I love this part! I could be on "Cyborg Idol" if that show existed, WHY DON'T THEY MAKE THAT SHOW!?"

"More minions! I covet it! VICTORY!"

"Ha ha! Ha ha! Who is the toady sidekick now?!"

"Running a little low on minions, I gotta wonder why I don't send them all in at once."

"Attention FILTHY MONKEYS! I have lost my toast recipe. Repeat, my family recipe for toast has been lost, the butter supply arrives shortly, BUT I'LL HAVE NOTHING TO PUT IT ON! SOMEBODY HELP ME! I wrote the recipe down on a little post-it note, but can't find it. Also Crash Bandicoot has been sighted, yadda yadda yadda... Peace out, homies."

"I wish my brother George was here. Oh, but he was always so superficial."

"I should do a bit on phonetic punctuation while I am up here."

"Stop him, minions! He's after my radioactive... RUBBER PANTS!"

"Maybe these little cupcakes will be your undoing! Mmm, cupcakes! You are like little cups of cake! I just told you but you already know..."

"Let's go underlings, let's go! Let's go- LET'S SEE SOME TEAM SPIRIT OUT THERE!"

"Attention, my simpering simian gibbons of doom- that means you, YOU IDIOT DOOM MONKEYS! Look to the monkey to your left, and to your right. If one of them is Crash Bandicoot, inflict unspeakable horror and pain upon it - with pointed sticks, and wrenches, and terrible devices, no man nor monkey was meant to wield! AH HEH HEH! Please note, company pensions have been canceled in favor of bagel Wednesday. That is all."

"Spew forth more bad guys! DO IT!"

"Someone take out the trash! And by trash, I mean Crash! Hey that rhymes, I should start a record label... THEN I CAN GET SOME CHICKS! I'M TIRED OF MONKEYS!"

"Try this one for size, Mister Hairy Butt! ...GROSS, I'm gonna be sick!"

"You have no one to blame... but your stupid face!"

"Attention, revolting yet beloved Doom Monkey servants. Tomorrow is "Make Your Child Work In The Corps" Day. Be sure to bring your many rat-like offspring so we can make them do work considered unsafe for robots. Also, please note that Friday is Hawaiian Shirt Day, so try to find a sufficiently tacky shirt. That is all."

"Crash, I really am crossed with you! I'm just trying to do my job, and you go and cause all this chaos! I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to eat your face."

"Meet your brand new, hydraulically operated, twin brother, Mecha Bandicoot!"

"My, my! Can it be? Crash and Cortex? I don't know whether to kiss you, or kill you!"

"[responding to Aku Aku] I like a challenge. I accept! This should be fun!"

"[to Cortex] Such a big head, such a tiny brain!"

"Victor: Cower, you fools, before the awesome might of... the Evil Twins!"

"Moritz: Catch you later, brainiac!"

"Moritz: See you around, losers! Hey, is it lunchtime yet?"

"Victor: You see? This is why nobody likes you. A curse on you, Crash Bandicoot! A curse on you all!"

"Victor: That's it, Cortex! You wanna make up for lost time and play with your pets?! So be it!"

"Victor: Well, this is one heck of an ending."

"Victor: So, this is how the rich and ugly fly?"

"Victor: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just skip to the good bit."

"Dingodile: Treasure, eh? Bonza!"

"Madame Amberley: Zo, cry-baby Cortex is all grown up. I see you've found employment as a barber."