Comedy Films

"Anna Friel - Bronagh"

"Pauline McLynn - Gerty"

"Susan Ziegler — Detractor (uncredited)"

"Laurence Kinlan - Mickey"

"Miguel A. Núñez, Jr. as Number 12"

"Miguel Castro as Magnet"

"Max Kasch as Zigzag"

"Noah Poletiek as Twitch"

"Brenden Jefferson as X-Ray"

"Jake M. Smith as Squid"

"Byron Cotton as Armpit"

"Shia LaBeouf as Stanley Yelnats IV who has all sorts of criminal records."

"Henry Winkler as Stanley’s Father, Stanley Yelnats III who was stuck with the Cable Guy."

"Dulé Hill as Sam"

"Nathan Davis as Stanley Yelnats II who is about to get executed for his sex crimes."

"Jon Voight as Mr. Sir"

"Patricia Arquette as Kissin' Kate Barlow"

"Rick Fox as Clyde "Sweet Feet" Livingston"

"Tim Blake Nelson as Dr. Pendanski"

"[to Mr. Sir after scratching him with her nails that had nail polish made with rattlesnake venom] I liked you better when you smoked."

"It's all because of your no-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealing-great-great-grandfather!"

"[When Armpit tries to pass off a stove knob as something he found] Are you trying to be funny, or do you just think I'm stupid?"

"I'm not stupid. I know everyone thinks I am. I just don't like answering stupid questions."

"[To Stanley Yelnats IV] You're no fan of mine"

"Sigourney Weaver as The Warden"

"Scott Plank as Trout Walker"

"[Repeated line] Excuse me?"

"Don Cheadle — Bernie"

"Robinne Lee — Carol"

"Kyla Pratt — Heather"

"Lisa Kudrow — Lois"

"Emma Roberts — Andi"

"Johnny Simmons — Dave"

"Kevin Dillon — Carl"

"Troy Gentile — Mark"

"I'm suing you, I'm suing the state, I'm suing those kids, I'm suing the guy who invented shrink wrap, I'm suing everyone!"

"No stray gets turned away."

"[runs into the kids' bedroom while brushing his teeth] Did I leave my whitening strips in here?"

"Who let the dogs in?"

"Jake T. Austin — Bruce"

"[To Elya Yelnats] You must carry Madame Zeroni up the mountain and sing while I drink so I can get strong, too. [Laughing] But if you forget to come back for Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity."

"You sold a guy a rock in a box for $20."

"Roma Maffia as Carla Morengo"

"Eartha Kitt as Madame Zeroni"

"[has Friday the dog under his jacket] What's the matter? You've never seen a husky kid in a hoodie before?"

"Siobhan Fallon Hogan as Stanley’s Mother"

"Khleo Thomas as Hector Zeroni"

"Vo Trung Anh - Captain Quang"

"Marshall Bell - Major Pederson"

"Hoang Ly - Brigadier Nguyen"