"[On learning how much came out of the music budget to build the Haçienda] Well, goodbye. I mean, we obviously have nothing in common. I'm a genius, you're fucking wankers, you'll never see me again. You don't deserve to see me again."

"[To Stephen Morris, on his drumming] Stop that fucking horrible racket, please. (...) Nothing wrong with the drumming as such. It's just people have been playing like that for the past 20,000 years and quite frankly, it's boring me arse off, y'know? Let's try something simpler. Faster, but slower."

"Most of all, I love Manchester. The crumbling warehouses, the railway arches, the cheap abundant drugs. That's what did it in the end. Not the money, not the music, not even the guns. That is my heroic flaw: my excess of civic pride."

"[To Roger Ames, explaining his raison d'etre for running Factory as he had been doing] I have protected myself from ever having to sell out by having nothing to sell out."

"[To Roger Ames, explaining Factory's vision] Factory Records are not actually a company. We are an experiment in human nature. You're labouring under the misapprehension that we actually have a deal with, er, with our, our bands. That we have any kind of a contract, er, at all, and I'm afraid we, er, we don't because that's, er, that's the sum total of the paperwork to do with Factory Records, deal with, er, their various bands."

"[About a scene involving Vini Reilly] This scene didn't actually make it to the final cut. I'm sure it'll be on the DVD."

"[Whilst hosting 'Wheel of Fortune'] Welcome to the Wheel of Fortune. There it is, the wheel that throughout the centuries has been used as a symbol for the vicissitudes of life. Boethius himself in his great work 'The Consolation of Philosophy' compares history to a great wheel, hoisting us up, then dropping us down again. "Inconsistency is my very essence" -says the wheel- "Raise yourself up on my spokes if you wish, but don't complain when you plunge back down" Now spin the wheel."

"[after Shaun Ryder fires a gun in his general direction] You really ought to be careful with that, Shaun. You could take somebody's eye out."

"[On the glossing over of Hilary, his second wife] OK. I should have found time to tell you earlier: I did have children with my second wife, Hilary, and there was a time when I was with Lindsay when that was all I wanted, and no, I've not been the best father in the world; yes, I could have been there, more than I have; and obviously I've got regrets. But this is not a film about me. I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be. I'm a minor character in my own story. This is a film about the music, and the people who made the music: Ian Curtis, Shaun Ryder, and Martin Hannett."

"[About the music scene surrounding the Haçienda] It was like being on a fantastic fairground ride, centrifugal forces throwing us wider and wider. But it's all right, because there's this brilliant machine at the center that's going to bring us back down to earth. That was Manchester. That is the Haçienda. Now imagine the machine breaks. For a while, it's even better, because you're really flying; but then, you're fucked, because nobody beats gravity."

"[To the camera, while leaving Granada studios with Yvette Livesey for the first time] I'm being postmodern, before it was fashionable."

"[To an overweight Martin Hannett, during some sessions with the Happy Mondays] You can't threaten me anymore, Martin. You're a big man, but you're out of shape, although you could sit on me."

"[At a gig at the Haçienda] And tonight something equally epoch-making is taking place. See? They're applauding the DJ. Not the music, not the musician, not the creator, but the medium. This is it. The birth of rave culture. The beatification of the beat. The dance age. This is the moment when even the white man starts dancing. Welcome to Madchester."

"[About the Happy Mondays, and when Shaun Ryder is introduced to Bez] Every band needs its own special chemistry. And Bez was a very good chemist."

"[to his friends, about A Certain Ratio's surprising move to another genre] Jazz is the last refuge of the untalented. Jazz musicians enjoy themselves more than anyone listening to them does."

"[To Peter Saville, about the tickets to the opening night of the Haçienda] They didn't hand out tickets to the Sermon on the Mount. People just turned up, they knew it was a good gig."

"[To Lindsay, who's breaking up with him after Ian Curtis's death] Energy, energy? You don't know what energy is. That is nothing more than a lot of new age hokum masquerading as spirituality."

"[When catching Lindsay having sex with Howard Devoto out of spite] I only got a blowjob. That's full penetration."

"[After Lindsay storms off when catching him with the prostitute; to Lindsay] I love you! [To the prostitute] Can you finish me off?"

"[When caught receiving an act of oral sex from a prostitute by his wife Lindsay] It's not what it looks like, love!"

"[First address to camera; after his hang-gliding news report] You’re gonna be seeing a lot more of that sort of thing in the film. All of that actually did happen. Obviously, it’s symbolic. It works on both levels. I don’t want to tell you too much, don’t want to spoil the film. But I’ll just say, "Icarus." OK? If you know what I mean, great. If you don’t, doesn’t matter. But you should probably read more."

"[first lines] Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's the latest craze sweeping the Pennines. I've got to be honest with you... right now I'd rather be sweeping the Pennines."

"She'll Rock Your World."

"She Makes Dinner. She Does Windows. She Reads Bedtime Stories. She's a Blessing in Disguise."

"[reading a letter] "Dear Mrs. Doubtfire, two months ago, my mom and dad decided to separate. Now they live in different houses. My brother Andrew says that we aren't going to be a family anymore. Is this true? Did I lose my family? Is there anything I can do to get my parents back together? Sincerely, Katie McCormick." Oh, my dear Katie. You know, some parents, when they're angry, they get along much better when they don't live together. They don't fight all the time, and they can become better people, and much better mummies and daddies for you. And sometimes they get back together. And sometimes they don't, dear. And if they don't, don't blame yourself. Just because they don't love each other anymore, doesn't mean that they don't love you. There are all sorts of different families, Katie. Some families have one mommy, some families have one daddy, or two families. And some children live with their uncle or aunt. Some live with their grandparents, and some children live with foster parents. And some live in separate homes, in separate neighborhoods, in different areas of the country - and they may not see each other for days, or weeks, months... even years at a time. But if there's love, dear... those are the ties that bind, and you'll have a family in your heart, forever. All my love to you, poppet. You're going to be all right. Bye-bye."

"Dr. Toad — Todd the Bartender"

"Martin Mull — Justin Gregory"

"Anne Haney — Mrs. Sellner"

"Scott Capurro — Jack Hillard, Frank’s partner"

"Robert Prosky — Jonathan Lundy"

"Mara Wilson — Natalie Hillard, Daniel & Miranda’s daughter"

"Matthew Lawrence — Christopher Hillard, Daniel & Miranda’s son"

"Lisa Jakub — Lydia Hillard, Daniel & Miranda’s daughter"

"Polly Holliday — Gloria Chaney"

"Harvey Fierstein — Frank Hillard, Daniel’s brother"

"Pierce Brosnan — Stuart Dunmeyer, Miranda’s partner"

"Sally Field — Miranda Hillard, Daniel’s wife"

"Robin Williams — Daniel Hillard / Mrs. Euphegenia Doubtfire, Hillard’s housekeeper"

"Actually, I was sort of terrified about having this baby. And right now I'm not really scared of anything. Maybe it's my hormones."

"I need to find a baby for this father."

"I'm also a human being."

"We fuckin' stole it, man"

"Bill Ubell here. I'm on a pay phone. I am still blindfolded. My arms are bound. But a young boy has been kind enough to assist me. There's not much chance I'll get another opportunity to call... so I thought I would ask if— What? No."

"Captain, I am required by law to notify the bank of any illegal activities..."