"Preserving the best of traditional masculinity should be a priority of parents because your son is preoccupied with the paradox of learning how to simultaneously fit in and stand out."

"Among former college players, 56 percent suffered from severe CTE pathology, which was associated with signs of dementia 85 percent of the time."

"After divorce or loss of a father, both girls and boys experience unhappiness, but especially with divorce, girls’ grief eases within a year or two, while boys’ does not."

"Dads—like moms, air, and water—are essential to our lives."

"We teach boys to associate being abused with being loved."

"And when boys are hurt, they hurt us—physically, psychologically, and economically."

"Between ages thirteen and sixteen, boys show a temporary decline in empathy on a biological level—a decline not suffered by girls."

"The traditional male hero is about self-sacrifice, not self-actualization."

"In the traditional male hero’s hierarchy of needs, self-actualization is nowhere to be found—because the more he values himself, the less he is willing to sacrifice himself."

"The discipline of postponing gratification is the single most important discipline your son needs."

"The motto for the evolved boy is “When the going gets tough, tune in to know when to tough it out.”"

"Exercise helps build the muscle of a child’s brain even more effectively than studying."

"Pick-up sports are excellent preparation for entrepreneurship."

"The solution—raising a balanced male—requires blending the best of the traditional male with the self-actualized male."

"When your son participates in individual sports, plus both organized and pick-up team sports, he will be experiencing sports as a boy-friendly liberal art."

"Boys who are not interested in school almost always have an interest that can be catalyzed into future employment if it is pursued via hands-on experience."

"A key measure of emotional intelligence is knowing that every virtue taken to its extreme becomes a vice."

"We interview people who are extraordinary successes, so they are visible. We ignore people who create a balanced life, so they are invisible."

"Should your son follow his bliss, it’s most likely the money he’ll miss."

"The boy crisis cannot be solved, then, without addressing the most important single crisis in developed countries: dad-deprived children, and especially dad-deprived boys."

"The rate of PTSD among boys who moved to better neighborhoods was like the rate found among soldiers returning from combat."

"While your son’s internal security is most likely to be enhanced by the hands-on involvement of both parents, even one conscious parent can lead the way."

"The women who were best able to grow spiritually and psychologically had married men who were the least able to grow."

"Nick was experiencing the father’s catch-22: loving his family by being away from the love of his family."

"And without love, your son’s purpose has no purpose."

"Many of the qualities your son develops to kill in war—or be a hero at work—undermine the qualities it takes to love at home."

"In The Deadliest Catch, the death the men face is the source of entertainment, but not of concern."

"The pay of the volunteer fireman? Praise. Respect. Purpose."

"Emma Bovary had everything, and therefore nothing."

"These are the social bribes that, if your son absorbs them before the point where he is old enough and mature enough to understand their purpose, can make your son a slave to the safety of others with little regard for the safety of himself."

"Had John attended to his first son, Julian, the way he attended to Sean, we would never have heard of John Lennon."

"The word hero derives from the root *ser-, from which we also get the word “servant”."

"Preparing his son to be a football hero was Jack’s dad’s unconscious way of preparing Jack for manhood by preparing him to sacrifice his body in exchange for the social bribes of being praised and valued."

"The women’s movement warned every girl how marriage can seduce her to make a sacrifice of her career. But no one warned every boy how marriage can seduce him to make a sacrifice in his career"

"The Japanese boys’ unconscious wisdom is: their dad as winner is really their dad as loser."

"Your son learns the “hero paradox”: to value himself by not valuing himself."

"If Don Draper ended up at Esalen in a state of introspection about what it means to be a man, maybe that’s where he should start."

"The more survival is at stake, the more we say, “Sorry, it’s a girl.” The more luxury we feel, the more we can say, “Sorry, it’s a boy.”"

"Fatherhood was about your dad trading in the old glint in his eye—what he loved to do—for the new glint in his eye: his love for you."

"“My Father’s Glint Was His Career—He Always Did Just What He Wanted.”"

"Whether or not we know our dad, we have a relationship with him. The relationship in our mind is our relationship."

"The road to high pay is a toll road."

"The more a boy represses his feelings and puts armor around his heart, the harder it is to open our hearts to him."

"Whether we call it ikigai or sense of purpose, when we pursue what we believe gives life meaning, it gives us life."

"Your son may simultaneously feel that the male role is pressuring him to feel obligated to earn money someone else spends while he dies sooner."

"If he followed his bliss, it’s the money you’d miss."

"Suicide now takes “more lives than war, murder, and natural disasters combined, stealing more than 36 million years of healthy life” around the world."

"The rate of increase in male suicide in India is growing at more than nine times that of female suicide."

"Sensitivity to the death and suffering of boys and men is in competition with our survival instinct."

"Boys’ IQs have dropped about 15 points since the 1980s."