"It's lucky we both now live in the new Soviet Union or you and your wife and your family would be a pile of dust on the floor of a crematorium toilet."

"[seeing the Orthodox bishops at Stalin's funeral] I thought we'd banned those freaks."

"Paul Whitehouse - Anastas Mikoyan, Minister of Labor"

"[Standing over Stalin's unconscious body] Have a long sleep, old man. I'll take it from here."

"Who's going to carry the can for this farago of shit?"

"[Handing out execution orders] Shoot her before him, but make sure he sees it... oh, and this one, kill him, take him to his church and dump him in the pulpit... The rest I leave up to you."

"[To Molotov, out of earshot] Goodbye, old friend. Goodbye forever."

"The Thick of It"

"Tell me something. Why has the Army been replaced by the NKVD all over Moscow? I mean, I'm smiling, but I am very fucking furious."

"My father's going to die. I'm going to have you to look after me. I mean, I may as well just shoot myself like Mother."

"Michael Palin - Vyacheslav Molotov, Minister of Foreign Affairs"

"Simon Russell Beale - Lavrentiy Beria, Minister of the Interior"

"Adrian McLoughlin - Joseph Stalin, General Secretary of the Soviet Communist Party"

"Andrea Riseborough - Svetlana Stalina"

"Jason Isaacs - Georgy Zhukov, Marshal of the Soviet Union"

"Jeffrey Tambor - Georgy Malenkov, Deputy General Secretary of the Soviet Communist Party"

"Olga Kurylenko - Maria Veniaminovna Yudina (Pianist)"

"I thank the Union for bringing me so many devoted wives who fuck like sewing machines."

"It smells like a Baku piss house in here."

"A modern soldier's greatest fear? It's not death, it's not starvation, it's chafing!"

"I've always been loyal to Stalin, always. These arrests were authorized by Stalin...but Stalin was also loyal to the collective leadership, and that is true loyalty...however, he also had an iron will, undeviating, strong. Could we not do the same, and stick to what we believed in?...No. It is stronger still to forge our own beliefs within the beliefs of the collective leadership...which I have now...done."

"Out of my way, you fannies!"

"Jeff Bergman as Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Elmer Fudd and Yosemite Sam."

"Gordon Hunt as Man in Audience, Movers and Director."

"Sara Berner as Red / Cigarette Girls (uncredited)"

"Elvia Allman as Grandma (uncredited)"

"Kent Rogers as Wolf (some lines) (uncredited)"

"Frank Graham as Narrator / Wolf / Showroom Announcer (uncredited)"

"Connie Russell as Red (singing voice) (uncredited)"

"Pinto Colvig as Wolf howls (uncredited)"

"Muslim audiences were angry at Mani Ratnam's film, not just for showing a Muslim girl falling in love with a Hindu (the Muslim philosophy about this, firmly established in the Sharia, is that 'our girls are ours, yours are up for grabs'), but also for not confirming them in the victim role which they had appropriated in connection with the Bombay riots. Mani Ratnam had a miraculous escape when a bomb was hurled at his residence in Madras."... Local authorities banned the film under Islamicist pressure or threats."

"The Muslim leaders argued that the film "insults the culture and religion of Muslims", and that they would settle for nothing less than a ban. Says Tai: "We didn't like the film from start to finish. We believe a Hindu-Muslim marriage is illegitimate." Muslim leaders also objected to the "biased" depiction of the riots. Asks Ahmed: "Why haven't they shown what the police did?" Maulana Abdul Ludus Kashmiri of the Ulema Council who, incidentally, hasn't seen the film, doesn't mince his words: "This film was made to insult Muslims and set fire between the communities.""

"Are there no limits to what Muslims can demand, and get away with, in the imagined cause of their religion? ... There is no reason why our political leaders should have to start kowtowing and running scared everytime a bunch of semi-literate mullahs gets up and starts making a noise. ... We have just seen Shiv-Sena government in Maharashtra buckle under Muslim pressure and suspend the release of Mani Rattnam’s Bombay. It is a film about inter-religious marriage and the triumph of peace over communal hatred. ... After seeing the film they came up with a list of objections so absurd that they should have been considered ludicrous in our secular land but they have been taken seriously. They object, we are told, to the last shot. The Muslim girl while eloping with her Hindu husband carried the Koran in her hand. This was bad, they said, because it seemed to imply that her marriage had Islamic sanction. ... Nor did they approve of the film’s first scene which shows a woman lifting her burqa off her face.... Offence was taken, we are told, because a Hindu family was shown being burned alive. A Muslim family is also shown being similarly murdered, because this also happened in the terrible riots of 1992, but our Muslim objectors are selective in their disapproval."

"Frank Welker as Jack / Fairy Godmother / Prince / Additional voices"

"Richmond Johnson"

"Carol Piacente"

"Hal Smith as Mother Goose (live action segments)"

"[yawning after having sex with Little Red Riding Hood] Thou it was a ripe annual fucketh Miss, thy firey cunt will stir pleasing memories, please if it pleases you proceed to yonder wedding."

"Bedtime Stories For Grown-Ups"

"Kelly Gordon"

"Uncut, Uncensored & Incredibly Unsuitable for Children!"

"[after his frog climbs out of a woman's mouth] Wow that's what I call a h-h-headjob."

"[about his mother learning about trading the cow for the beans and beating him for it] Boy was she sore and now so is my ca-ca-ca- ass! Gee I wish I hadn't sold the cow just so I could suck on that gypsy's ti-ti-tits, [to his frog] Remember those tits, Froggy? [Froggy nods] Wow, those were the softest things I ev-ev-ev wow! [gets a boner] and those ni-ni-nipples oh boy that warm wet fu-fu-fuzzy little pu-pu-pussy, woo hoo hoo hoo shit, I get h-h-horny just thinking about her again w-w-wow!, watch out Froggy I'm gonna cu-cu-cu... [ejaculates out the window which splashes on the beans causing them to grow]"

"[after Little Red Riding Hood offers him money to let her pass] Screw thy shilling! Thy lush young body are trade for thy fare, sayeth I."

"[as Jack is about to suck the cow] Now wait a minute baby cakes your mother told you not to molest that cow anymore! She don't give for the little milk anyway."

"Lorenzo Music as Various"

"[preparing to tell the story of Jack and the Beanstalk] Well, um, I guess I'd better start at the fucking beginning."

"[as Jack and the frog hear strange noises at the giant’s castle] Why don’t you crawl under the door dummy?"

"[having sex with Little Red Riding Hood] Fucketh you harlot bitch, fucketh!"