"That's not art. A striptease isn't art. It's too direct. It's more direct than art. That woman's body up there? It's a big juicy steak. It's a glass of gin. It's a hormone extract. Streptomycin. Uranium!"

"[telling a joke] :"You've never had a day off, have you?" "No." "Why? Are you indispensable?" "No. I don't want them to find out they can do without me.""

"I just can't die — I don't know what I've been living for all these years. This expensive saki is a protest against my life up to now."

"Dying is very difficult."

"I can't afford to hate anyone. I don't have that kind of time."

"Life is brief, fall in love, maidens... Before the crimson bloom fades from your lips... Before the tides of passion cools within you... For those of you who know no tomorrow... Life is brief, fall in love, maidens... Before our raven tresses begin to fade... Before the flames in your hearts flicker and die... For those to whom today will never return..."

"I have less than a year to live. When I found that out... somehow I was drawn to you. Once when I was a child, I almost drowned. It's just like that feeling. Darkness everywhere, and nothing for me to hold onto, no matter how hard I try. There's just you."

"Kamatari Fujiwara - Sub-Section Chief Ono"

"Ann: THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE."

"(to herself) Now you feel like you want to take all the drugs in the world. But all the drugs in the world aren't going to change the feeling that your whole life's been a dream and it's only now that you're waking up."

"Alone. You're alone. You've never been so alone in your life. Lies are your only company."

"Julian Richings - Dr. Thompson"

"Kenya Jo Kennedy - Patsy"

"Jessica Amlee - Penny"

"Alfred Molina - Ann's Father"

"Amanda Plummer - Laurie"

"Leonor Watling - Ann the neighbor"

"Deborah Harry - Ann's Mother"

"Mark Ruffalo - Lee"

"Scott Speedman - Don"

"Sarah Polley - Ann"

"Ann's father: You just can't live the kind of life that other people want us to live. No matter how hard you try, you just can't do it."

"(to herself) You pray that they will have moments of happiness so intense, that all of their problems will seem insignificant by comparison. You don't know who or what you're praying to, but you pray. You don't even regret the life that you're not gonna have, because by then you'll be dead. And the dead don't feel anything. Not even regret."

"Try and be patient with her [Ann's mother], okay? She... she is a good person even if it doesn't always seem that way. She's... none of the things she always dreamed about ever came true, you know? Try and understand her. Don't let her make you mad."

"No one's normal, mom. No such thing as normal people."

"Shari Springer Berman — Interviewer"

"Hope Davis — Joyce Brabner"

"Paul Giamatti — Harvey Pekar"

"Danielle: [to Harvey] Joyce is right. You are obsessive-compulsive."

"Real Harvey: It seemed that real, salt of the earth people like Toby and me were being co-opted by these huge corporations. We were getting held up and ridiculed as losers in the system. What can I say, it was the '80s, man."

"Crumb: You turned yourself into a comic hero?"

"Young Harvey: I ain't no super hero, lady. I'm just a kid from the neighborhood, all right?"

"Hamburgers are a safer addiction than drugs. Say no to drugs. Say yes to White Castle."

"[regarding "Revenge of the Nerds"] Yes, I consider myself a nerd. And this movie has uplifted me."

"[to Harvey] You know, you should try believing in something bigger than yourself. It might cheer you up."

"I recommend the piña coladas. They are excellent and very authentic tasting."

"I find most of American cities to be depressing in the same way."

"[referring to David Letterman] Megalomaniac."

"I'll have you know that I come from a very dysfunctional family. I can spot personality disorders a mile away."

"I guess I have a lot of borderline health disorders that limit me politically when it comes to eating."

"Harvey, we better skip this whole courtship thing and just get married."

"Why does everything in my life have to be such a complicated disaster?!"

"Yeah, I know I'm not as interesting as The Little Mermaid and all that magical crap."

"Look Toby, the guys in that movie are not 28 year-old file clerks who live with their grandmothers in an ethnic ghetto...They didn't get their computers like you did, by trading in a bunch of box tops and $49.50 at the supermarket...Sure, go to the movies and daydream, but Revenge of the Nerds ain't reality. It's just Hollywood bullshit."

"Man, she's got good looking handwriting."

"Donal Logue — Stage Harvey"

"Molly Shannon — Stage Joyce"

"Maggie Moore — Alice Quinn"

"Danielle Batone — Real Danielle"